Frame vs. Personality

tombreck2 · 2014-08-25T18:33:55+00:00

Frame is controlling the meaning of an interaction. If a girl asks you a stupid question like "Do you masturbate?" she is trying to take control of the interaction. If you answer the question then you have lost control of the frame. For example:

Her: "Do you masturbate?"

You losing frame: "Yeah a couple times a week."

You maintaining frame: "My hands aren't big enough."

User-31f64a4e · 2014-08-25T18:41:06+00:00

What is holding frame?

It is directing the flow of the interaction, steering it in the direction you choose. It is not responding to the shit tests and other gambits in ways that lead to predictable failures ( supplicating, justifying, reacting angrily, being an emotional tampon, etc. ); it is instead steering the conversation in a way that avoids these traps.

So now, what about your personality? I'm not even sure what is meant by the bit about multi-faceted, but here's the thing: even if you hold a side that is nurturing, supportive, kind and "feminine", you can still take charge of all your interactions.

This is like the difference between assertive and aggressive. You can look out for your needs and offer support to other humans; you just can't let them set the terms under which it occurs. You can look out for your self, and hold frame, and look after your own needs - while allowing various aspects of your personality to come out.

So it's not that you always have to be a jerk or something; it's that you have to understand where each request or gambit is leading, and act appropriately.

The proper way for your softer side to come out is when you offer it at a time and to a degree of your choosing. Don't lead with it; use it to reward good behavior. Don't allow her to make demands on it; offer it at times of your choosing, when you are moved to and when you think it makes sense. Most likely this is in the context of an LTR, where you really do have to have some concern for legitimate needs of a partner. Wisdom lies in teasing out the legitimate and the bullshit, and in offering at the right time rather than having be demanded. Somewhere in TRP, I saw the comment about women being like overgrown children. If you are a father, you have control of the situation but sometimes do nice things - hopefully without getting walked over. It's like that.

So again, I find the OP's question a bit difficult to understand. But I'll just sum up with saying that holding frame is about directing the interaction; that has nothing to do with how many facets your personality has. Playful, friendly, curious, whatever - they can have a place. You need to figure out how to work it in, and how to drive the conversation from whatever place. There are limits, however. If you have a meek. submissive and subservient side, you probably can't showcase that and hold frame. Grow out of that shit.

Title	Frame vs. Personality
Author	promethius225
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	August 25, 2014 5:44 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2ejqc3/frame_vs_personality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/frame-vs-personality.20013 https://theredarchive.com/post/20013

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