My girlfriend of 8 months walks into my apartment. I haven’t seen her for 4 days. We hug and she gives me a kiss. I give her a casual spank on the rear. Her ass is tight like a fist.

Her: “When is the last time you had sex?”

Me: “Oh, you know. This morning with some girl. She left a few minutes ago.”

Her: “Wait... really? Are you being serious right now?” (She seems concerned).

Me: “I dunno, am ever serious?”

Her: “Hahah, true.”

Me: (I spank her again, and then open the fridge to start cooking up dinner).

Her: I like being being here so much. It’s just me and you, right?

Me: Of course.

Another time, under similar circumstances. She walks in after several days apart:

Her: “When is the last time you had sex?”

Me: “5 minutes ago.”

Her: “Wait, what? How?”

Me: “It was with the security guard downstairs.”

Her: “Oh, hahah. Isn’t that a guy?”

Me. “Yeah. It was gay sex.”

Her: “Haha: Was he good?”

Me: “Very.”

Yet another time, under similar circumstances. She walks in after several days apart:

Her: “When is the last time you had sex?””

Me: “Last night. This girl just left this morning.”

Her: “Wait... seriously? Are you kidding?”

Me: “Who knows.”

Her: “If you’re sleeping with other girls I need to know.”

Me: “I mean, I did wash my clothes and sheets right before you got here.”

Her: “Wait... seriously?”

Me: “You know me, I’m a clean guy.”

Her: “That’s too bad. I’m a dirty girl. Do you really have other girls over?”

Me: “What do you think that spare toothbrush in bathroom is for?”

Her: “Oh, I thought you just had that for no specific reason.”

Me: “Yeah. Maybe. People just have spare toothbrushes sometime. I’m people, right?”

Her: (Her shirt is off now). Yeah, you’re people. I dunno. Do you like my boobs?

Me: “Yeah. I’m people.” (I slap her tits. Great sex follows).