I have been hanging around for a year now and working on myself with the sidebar and the Rollo books. This is also my first post on this subreddit.

The last couple of weeks I’m trying to be more active. When 2 months ago I would wake up, eat my premade food and watch Netflix the whole day until Monday I’m trying to stay busy. I did my morning ritual, (2 cups of clean water with some salt and lemon, sitting in the sun for 5 min meditating and a cold shower) cleaned my house and put the laundry in.

I do my hair and get dressed and went to the stores to get some swim gear for my vacation in 3 weeks, I’m trying to get into the booth to try some out and this sixteen year old tells me to wait outside because the room is full, so I think this is not so bad, only me and one other girl are waiting. Two minutes into waiting 20 of her friends show up and just ignore me and walk up to her. But like always I just make excuses to myself, that I can return Monday when it’s not so busy.

So after that I go to the baker to get some bread and I see a HB8 walking in and I just know what is going to happen. She gets helped first by this teenager boy that doesn’t blink anymore. So now my mood is really bad and this old woman shows up and doesn’t know how a line works. She stands next to me (like the other girl did) and also tries to ignore me and starts ordering.

So me in a cracked up beta voice calmly tell her that I was first and she looks at me like I’m crazy. Gives me a sassy ‘I’m sorry’ and lets me order.

I never used to buy my own cloths and food and I can’t believe this shit is happening. Not only am I angry that they ignore people like that. I’m also angry that I ignore the voice inside my head me telling me to man up and say something. That even though I’m angry I can’t speak up and act like a pussy.

I get angry a lot the last couple of weeks, maybe it’s the intermittent fasting. But maybe it’s good to finally get angry, or people will walk all over me for the rest of your life.