Going Downtown

Summary

I went downtown with friends (six girls and seven guys) and was celebrating a friend’s birthday. My goals were to solely 1) have fun 2) go into the night with no expectations. Going out last night was an experiment to see what would happen if I focused on enjoying myself rather than trying to please girls around me.

This post is for me. It is for me to see how am I progressing and to see what I did right and what I did wrong. Enjoy.

BODY

My friends and I were talking about heading out this weekend and just enjoying ourselves. We have a rigorous school schedule and this is one of the last weekends before the grind starts up for the exams in May. My friend got most of us in a group chat and casually dropped a suggestion that we should all go downtown to celebrate a girl’s birthday. I was immediately down for it and was in the whole way.

During school I was groggy and tired. I had taken a few exams that day and was mentally exhausted. My body longed for sleep, but I still had to attend some meetings after school before I was able to get into the gym. I got into the gym and I literally thought about nothing. I just turned my mind off and lifted.

After the gym I went to the store to buy a card for my friend’s birthday. As I was waiting in line, (the card cost me $7) I checked the group chat. Whenever I am a part of these massive group chats I usually just mute them and go on with my day, but I had to see if the time was changed or if anything came up. My name came up and someone asked me if I could confirm that I was going. I kept scrolling down when one of my friends said “Awayofthought never answers his phone. His is literally shut in his room all day”. I butt heads with him quite a lot and these type of AMOG attempts are common from him. I don’t want to look too much into it, but for some reason it definitely ticked me off.

So I paid for the card and started to feel angry. I don’t know what it’s called, but he always tries to bring me down instead of bringing me up. I am sure that most of us have had this feeling with a friend: he always has to have the upper hand and gets his validation from people by bringing others down. So I got into my car and just had this strange feeling of focus and intense attention to my surroundings. Like a heightened spatial awareness. No longer was I sore from the gym, no longer was I mentally exhausted from school. I was going to go downtown with my friends, and in my mind I was going to have the time of my life.

For lack of a better word, I needed to get into “state”. My brain was still not working properly and I knew I would tank if I did not bring myself into state. So on the ride back home I started to yell in my car. At first it was weird, but it felt good to just yell. I started to gain some momentum and got louder and louder. You let go of your ego, stop thinking about what other people may think about you, and literally let go. You just start to yell/scream/shout at the top of your lungs. So I yelled a couple times and immediately I felt twenty times better. Just belligerent yelling. I was focused, driven, and happy.

After a few seconds of yelling, I looked to my right and saw this scared old lady waiting for a red light right next to me. The look of this granny was priceless: shock and fear with a small amount of WTF. The absurdity of my yelling in my car and her face suddenly brought me to tears. I started to laugh so fucking hard at not only the lady’s face, but at myself. I stopped taking myself so seriously and I had this wave of self-assurance come over me. I waved to her and she just smiled back. The light turned green and I just continued to laugh while spontaneously yelling while I drove home.

I got home, showered, and picked a nice shirt and jacket. I wrote my friend a nice happy birthday message and looked myself in the mirror before going out. “I will fucking kill it tonight” and walked to my car. I drove my car to my friend’s house and was about two minutes late but nobody cared. I walked through the door and everyone is just sitting around, not doing anything.

I got to work right away and said happy birthday to my friend and went to my other friend. I literally shut off my mind and just enjoyed the conversation. You turn off the RP, you stop trying so hard to be perfect, and you just start to focus in on the moment. You focus on enjoying yourself and having a good time. Immediately another friend joined in and before you knew it, we were the “energy conversation” of the party.

A few girls who had their faces burrowed in their phones suddenly joined us, but we just ignored them. Our conversation kept going for a few minutes before the rest of the squad came and we were about to leave before one of the girls said “Group picture!”. We took the pictures and went outside. As much as I hate pictures and social media ( I don’t have snapchat, instagram, or twitter, just facebook) it serves as a great opener with every girl. I wasn’t too close with about half the girls there, so I just used that to insert myself into every conversation.

“You know there are hotlines, right?” I said.

“What do you mean?” replies Girl A.

“The first step to recovery is to start to building basic social skills and begin to talk to people like a normal person.”

“What? I am perfectly normal and have social skills!” she replies.

This starts the conversation and immediately she starts justifying herself to me. After a while, I can take the conversation WHEREVER I WANT IT. I repeated this opening about three times. Lesson learned: You can say anything you want once you assert yourself as a man and not be afraid to say what you truly want to say. NEVER LOSE YOUR FRAME and just focus on listening and replying back. If you are having trouble with this, the only way to get better is to go out there and actually start doing this in the real world. Stop reading the red pill and start talking to people.

So we head out. We decided that we would all drive there separately, but that was a really stupid idea. Someone suggested that we all take the train together, and I immediately agreed with him. So instead of taking 10+ cars, we only took three to the train station and stuck together. We were walking to the cars when I saw my friend flirting pretty openly with another girl. She liked it, but everyone had their eyes on them. He pushed on, but she was put on the spot because the rest of the girls were looking at them. No matter how good his game is, she still had a certain status to maintain within that group.

Lesson learned: Don’t escalate too early in the night and make sure you don’t “freeze” yourself to one girl the entire night. My friend’s goal from the beginning was to “Get that girl” and he tried very hard. By isolating himself with that girl, he essentially isolated himself from the rest of the group and eventually got turned down by the girl. Also you learn a ton by not committing to one girl the entire night. If I focused on getting one girl or any girl in particular, I would not be writing this FR right now.

Anyways, we all pack into one of the cars and head off. This is a great time to hype yourself up and work on getting in state. Usually the passenger puts on great music and everyone starts to let loose. Don’t distract the fucking driver, but make sure that you let go of any inhibitions before leaving that car. Don’t bitch about the music: just enjoy whatever is put on.

So we messed around and had a great time. The driver was also great in the sense that he was safe and followed the law, but wasn’t afraid to mess around. If you are often the driver of a large group of people, you are placed in a special place of power and trust. As redpill men, we can capitalize on that. I am not telling you guys to drift or run any red lights, but be creative. The driver has the most power in that situation and essentially the whole car trusts him to get them to the destination safely and on time. Once you understand the power dynamics of the situation, you can use it to make everyone enjoy themselves.

We drove into this parking garage and instead of parking on the first level, the driver chose to drive up all the way to the top and swerve on the top level of the parking garage (It was completely empty). This was spontaneous and immediately the adrenaline started to kick in (he was driving up the ramp pretty fast). We were all laughing when he started to accelerate to hit a pole in the middle of the parking garage but instead braked just in time. It was a classic stressful-funny moment. He then backed up and we drove around the garage for a few laps before getting out. I can honestly say that everyone was screeching and hollering at the top of their lungs and their hearts were pounding. It got the entire car onto the same energy level and everyone immediately started to gel. NOTE: Don’t do this if you are not an experienced driver or you have an expensive car.

There will be comments that will call me out on my friend’s behavior, but I say it was worth it. The risk was low, and we were all wearing seatbelts. We were not speeding down a busy highway (which I guarantee you have all done it and is 100x more dangerous than what we did). It’s all about risk vs reward.

We got on the train and started to ride into the city. This is where my gaming started to come in. I focused in on the birthday girl and started to give her shit with a stupid smile on my face. I just said whatever came to my head and I never went back on anything. I started to say stupid things like “assert your dominance” and that line immediately got the attention of one of the girls. She was a hardcore feminist and proudly told everyone in the group chat. She started to question me and my beliefs. Looking back: I comprised my frame in order to maintain the conversation and started to answer the questions in a goofy manner.

“What do you think about abortion?”

“Way to ruin the mood “feminist”! Try again.”

“Why do you think that women are inferior?”

“I love Mexicans! When did I ever say I hated Mexicans?”

Reflecting now, I should have totally disengaged her, but I just wanted to keep pumping myself up. Nothing is funnier than watching the hamster spin and watching her spew random bullshit. To set the stage: I was laughing the entire time on the train ride and interacting with everyone slowly. When one conversation died, I moved to the other. Almost every conversation was filled with laughter. It was one of the few moments in my life where I truly let go of any expectations and just focused on having a good time.

For me, it all started with cutting out the worries in my life. Stop worrying about being alpha, stop worrying about being seductive, stop worrying about being a bitch, stop worrying about the homework, stop worrying about your problems, stop worrying about your bills, stop worrying about your fucking stupid problems and work on enjoying yourself right now. Your stress is doing nothing to help you so just focus on enjoying yourself.

I got to that point where nobody took me seriously and just enjoyed my conversations for what they were. If I didn’t like a conversation, I just changed it or I left it altogether to talk to a new person. One of my buddies started to talk to this girl about Kylie Jenner and her instagram pictures. You know what the result was? They sat together on the train for 45 minutes talking about Kylie Jenner and her products. My fucking friend wanted to shoot himself but he said “ey bro, I was GAMING HER”. Just chuckle and walk away.

So I established rapport with the entire group. Every guy was “cool” with me, but not every guy found me funny, which was okay.** Lesson learned**: You don’t have to win everyone. I stuck with the guys who were the funniest to me and we just messed around on the ride. We dared each other to do stupid, childish pranks i.e. walk on the platform during a stop and shout “ALL ABOARD!” or just stupid shit like “riding” subway while its moving.

We talked to random strangers and our entire goal was to make them laugh or smile. My challenge was to get the whole cart to laugh so I said “Excuse me ladies and gentlemen; I just wanted to say something. FUCK (rivalry city)” It got a few laughs, but mostly smiles. The whole time the girls in our group were watching us. A few of the “cool guys” like my Kylie Jenner friend were just sitting and being boring fucks. For us, we were just looking to have a good time. None of us worried about out-alphaing each other. We didn’t give a fuck about what anyone thought of us. We did what we wanted and as a result, something switched in their minds.

We got off the train and now we were in the middle of the city. The conversations died down and people were feeling a bit tired (I was as well). We started to walk towards the bar when I just started a random chant. Just a simple soccer chant. One of my friends joined in and then another, and before you knew it, there was twelve people chanting. It’s simple group mentality. The chants reverberating off the buildings made it much more louder and before you knew it, the energy peaked again.

We got to the bar and we all sat together. It was extremely chill with a live band playing. I ordered some food and just relaxed. I ate my food and started to engage the girl sitting a few seats away from me. Usually I never do this. I just talk to the people sitting right next to me or directly across from me. Lesson learned: Don’t be afraid to engage people that aren’t sitting next to you. Be a man and get their attention to start conversing.

I started talking to the girl and before you know it, she was laughing and touching me. She moved by me and we continued our conversation. I was honed in on having a good time, but I never cut contact with the rest of the group. THIS IS KEY. Lesson learned: Never focus solely on one girl. Engage the group and the girl will come to you. I taught her how to say a few things in my native tongue while she taught me how to say a few words in her native tongue. I put my hand around her and brought her in and she just snuggled into my chest. I leaned into her ear and whispered something stupid like “My bedtime is 9. My mom is going to kill me” and she found it pretty funny. It’s about not taking ANYTHING seriously.

As I pulled back, I looked into her eyes and saw pure attraction and attention. The looks girls give me are awesome because 1) Shows sexual attraction and excitement 2) You feel valuable 3) You are accepted as a man 4) it just feels amazing. It was pure ecstasy and full of happiness and elation. This is what we should strive for. As men we need to bring happiness and life back to other people. TRP will probably disagree with me, but we need to be the change that you want to see in this world.

I pulled away from our conversation and started to take a sip of my drink when I caught feminist staring at me. Mouth gaped open and eyes in shock. She just couldn’t believe that this goofy idiot is good with girls. It went completely against her way of thinking. I just shot her a shit-eating grin and went back to talking to my friends (focus on the group). Feminist leaned into another girl’s ear and started to talk, but I just kept talking with my friends.

Now, the guy who tried to AMOG in the group chat shouted down the table and said to me “awayofthought, why do you keep touching that girl? She doesn’t like you!” I was so stunned that another guy can say this so I replied “Of course she loves me! She’s my cousin!” and gave her a loud kiss on her forehead. He just shook his head and did an exaggerated face palm. It ticked me off and I started to be more energetic again. I focused more on being louder, more involved, more laughing at people’s jokes. Once again, the conversation my friends and I were having became the focus point of the entire group. Everyone was looking down the table at us and our absurd conversation.

The feminist was not done with her interrogation so she just randomly asked “are you voting for Donald trump?” Now, I love trump, but I am not that stupid to say that I am going to vote for him. I just said that I have to do my research on the candidates and figure out which one of them I am going to align myself with. But she pressed on “Are you conservative? Are you against gay marriage?”. Now I was getting irritated. I started to engage. I was going to go in and start debating with her, but what was the point? The entire table was now looking at us and listening to my responses. Keep in mind that mostly everyone at the table loves Bernie Sanders. Lesson learned: I should have seriously not engaged AT ALL with politics or I should have catered to her and said Bernie Sanders to get her off my back.

After a minute of this conversation, I realize that this was a losing battle for me: I had to cut my losses and got the fuck out. I said, “You know what? I took the political quiz that checks what candidate you align with the most. I aligned with Hilary Clinton and share the most common beliefs with her.” That shut up the feminist and I quickly turned the conversation back to the girl next to me. I did lose a bit of frame, but it was better than continuing with the conversation losing my frame entirety. Lesson learned: SHUT THE FUCK UP about your political views. In my state of not caring at all, I accidently wandered into RAPE territory. (religion, abortion, politics, economics) While I did an excellent job of amused mastery, I started to say too much shit that offended people. The only thing that saved me was that I was NEVER SERIOUS. At all.

In the moment I was not worried about frame. I just wanted to have a good night with my friends and flirt with girls for a bit. I have been going out a bit lately and I have realized that when you 1) have no expectations, then your night is significantly better and 2) focus on having fun over anything else, you having the best time possible. I wasn’t worried about frame. I didn’t even give a shit about getting laid. While you are thinking about what to do next in a situation, I already got over it and started to flirt with the girl next to me again. Not letting anything phase you is the true definition of frame.

We paid our bills and went back out. Some of us wanted to go clubbing, but most wanted to get back home. I was just walking by myself when one of the girls (haven’t really talked to her much) came up to me and said something stupid. I just smiled and told her that that was the stupidest thing I heard all night. She slapped my arm and I told her to get on my back. She said no playfully, and I immediately scooped her up and carried her across the street. There was a car coming and I yelled “ARE YOU READY TO DIE!?” and she just screeched and held on for dear life. I got back onto the sidewalk and swung her around so that we were face to face.

I knew the rest of the group was looking at us, so we didn’t kiss. I just said something like “First one back to the group wins” and had a race to get back to the group. I let her win and the whole group started to give me shit for losing to a girl. I accepted my loss respectfully and held out my arm. She grabbed on. We just strolled through the city lights and I pretended to show her cool stuff about the city. I would point at a random building and say “And that is where they abolished slavery. Oh, and right in front of us is the famous Big Ben.” Stupid, random shit that had her in tears.

Lesson learned: Girls are attracted to FUN and EMOTIONS. Make them FEEL, don’t make them think. Any emotion is better than boredom and that is what I strived to provide. Any fucking Smuck can make her think, but can every guy make her FEEL?

I talked to a few guys here and there and basically enjoyed myself. We were waiting for the train to arrive when I started to make eye contact with random girls walking by. Just a quick hello or compliment about they were wearing. It was great at pumping up my state. One of my friends asked me if I knew all these girls and I just laughed and said “I never met them before”.

I was doing well when my friend said my name and looked down at my shoes. I looked down and I saw my zipper was open like an idiot. The girl next to him started to die of laughter. Before I would have gotten red and embarrassed, but I owned it and started to smile. I turned away from the group and fixed my zipper. I gave the girl a wink and started to talk to her friend. I asked her where she was from, what she did, her nationality etc. Lesson learned: Don’t let anything phase you. Just keep going with it.

She was a classic European. I started to do my best French accent and she just ate. That .shit. up. She hated French people with a passion and I just capitalized on that. One of my best friends came up to us and I greeted him with the accent. Just classic guy banter and the girl loved it. I saw one of my friends right by the edge of the tracks and instead of thinking of what to say, I just said “Don’t do it! It’s not worth it!”. Just the most random, funny shit will get anyone laughing. Just enjoying yourself and being part of the group is key.

The ride back I just focused on emotions and keeping it interesting. Half the group was spread out throughout the train carriage and kept to themselves while the rest of us remained standing and interacted. We continued to be childish but this time some girls joined us and we were just enjoying ourselves. I flirted with the girls and kept it light. There was a ton of touching, but nothing serious. I have never been in this state of mind before: Just clear, consistent focus and being at ease.

One of my friends yelled pretty loud “You can’t be alpha. Awayofthought is the alpha here” to one of the girls. The girl pointed at herself and said “I am the alpha”. I just locked eyes with her and said “Look at me…I am the alpha now” and didn’t blink. I stepped into her space and she immediately backed down. It was pretty stupid if you think about it, but it created attraction between us. For the rest of the ride back she wouldn’t get off me and just looked for any excuse to touch or talk. Of course the group conversation was more important, so she was by my hip for the rest of the journey home.

We got off the train and started to walk back to the car. In the parking garage, the same girl came up to me and said that I am not alpha. She has this cute little smile on her face and I knew it was over right there. I just took a deep breath and yelled like I did in my car earlier in the night. The girl continued to giggle and I do it again. I pick up her and continue to shout like an idiot. I keep getting louder and louder and she is holding onto me. I start doing classic gorilla shit like banging my chest and flexing everywhere.

I NEVER EVER did any of that before in my life. There was no way I would have acted like that EVER. But I let go and just enjoyed myself. I set her down near the edge of the parking garage and looked directly into her eyes. I say “On three, we are going to shout together”. We look towards the city and on three, we just yelled at the top of our lungs. It felt so fucking good to just shout and immediately she turned around and hugged me. She laid her head on my shoulder and I said something stupid like “This is the first time I ever hugged a girl” which made her laugh just a little. Never be serious. Ever.

On the car ride back we just flirted and touched each other but I never went for the kiss. We were still with our friends and her friends were in the car with us. When we got back home, she said that this was the best night she had in a long time and said we should meet up again. I gave her my number and said that we will definitely hang out soon.

I wasn’t trying to get any girls, and instead some girls came onto me. Let them chase you. They weren’t my goal. By letting them chase me, I WAS THE PRIZE. Also realize that not every girl will like you and that is fine. Just move onto the next one.

My friend who tried to AMOG me was always trailing behind us. He was always leeching off the energy from the rest of the group. He was by himself and talked with only a few of his friends. Nothing was better than the feeling of two girls hugging me on the train and seeing him stare into his phone like a loser.

The feminist just stuck with the birthday girl and never let go of her. It was quite pathetic, actually. She was so focused on complaining (about me) that she probably had a terrible night. I gave value to every conversation that I was a part of: I talked constantly, I laughed a lot, and I improved everyone’s quality of life. I made new friends, I ruined people’s expectations of me, and I created great memories. But most importantly is that I learned important lessons while having FUN.

Lessons Learned

1) No one gives a shit about you. Stop thinking so much about the other person- just do the first thing that comes to your mind. Just say it AND OWN IT.

2) Chances are no one is as self-aware and self-critical as you. No one is analyzing your every move and not everyone is overthinking about what to do next. I just talked to some friends the day after and they don’t remember half the shit that happened. None of them remember the feminist attacking me or me doing random shit in the street. Everyone has their own perspective of the night and everyone is stuck in their own head.

Remember: Most people are blind and don’t see half the shit everyone does. I guarantee you that if I didn’t type this up, I would have forgotten 95% of it in two days.

3) Talk to everyone. Expand your social circle and just focus on the person. Don’t think of it as “practice”, think of it as communicating with another human being that you can learn from.

4) Some people can’t be saved. Two of my pals were trying so hard to get this girl and both of them failed. I tried giving a few pointers, but of course they dismissed them right away. Girls usually pick that up and immediately they were labeled as “tryhards”. Don’t save anyone.

5) It is all about your emotions. Elevate the emotions around you. Make sure you are having fun and that you come first. Girls look for FUN and EMOTIONS.

6) Girls LOVE being objectified and being physical with guys. HOWEVER, put yourself in her shoes and make sure that no one is looking at her. Remember, she will be judged for being sexual while you will be fine. If no one is looking, you’re fine to escalate and ramp up the touching. Girls have to protect their status in the group at all costs.

Also, don’t try to fuck your friends. I was friends or at least acquaintances with everyone there; why would I try to try to fuck a friend and ruin the night? Why ruin my reputation within the group? Stop being lazy and find new girls to bang.

7) No matter what, own whatever you say. If you believe it and stand your ground, they can’t do shit.

8) APPROACH MORE OFTEN. Keep doing it, or you lose focus.

9) Get out as much as you can. We like to tell ourselves that we are “on the grind” 24/7, but really we aren’t. Make sure you aren’t neglecting your social side and get out more.

10) Not everyone will like you and that is okay. If more than half the people in the group enjoy your company, you are on the right path. Even in my group there were 2-3 people that did not like me at all and that’s fine. Sometimes you are just around toxic people, and you need to focus on getting better friends.

11) Analyze. You need to look at what you did well and what you did badly. I wrote this up FOR ME and I learned from my mistakes. While this was certainly overkill, I did it because I wanted to. I have my mistakes written down and can come back here if I ever get lost. I learned how to manage people better and be more sexual. I am slowly improving.

12) Once you analyze your night, MOVE ON. Forget it. Once I submit this post, I am done with it. I have already moved on to finishing my homework for class. I will not read this post again until a significant amount of time passes.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you all got something out of it! Keep up the grind.