Summary

Understanding various aspects of attraction empowers you to make precise moves to maximize your results. Once you know the key to female empathy, you can open the gates to attraction.

Definitions

For the purposes of this post, I will define a few terms that I use. (I'm specifying them here to avoid discussions on semantics and to keep focus on the substance of the post. I'm not interested in what a term means to you particularly or some book or blog post, I won't reply to those comments)

Predominantly male (or female) When a skill, quality or characteristic is referred to as predominantly male (or female) it means that the overall distribution is skewed towards the male (or female). For example, I could say height and strength and predominantly male characteristics. It means that men in general are taller and stronger than women. Obviously women have height and strength too. Also obviously, it does not mean that there are no short men or strong women. And yes, a few women are likely to be taller than most men and a couple of men could be shorter than most women. For the purposes of this post, I will often say "men are tall and women have long hair" instead of "men are predominantly taller and women predominantly have long hair" to avoid awkwardness of style.

Empathy Empathy is the ability to feel what someone else feels. Empathy enables the empath to actually feel what the other person feels rather than to simply understand it (which is sympathy). Empathy is automatic and involuntary. A mother feels the distress of her child, a father observes it. A young woman feels the joy of her friend who wears the latest fashion and she wants to buy the same dress/shoes/purse. Woman's empathy is very strong and they are attracted to feelings they like and repelled from feelings they do not like.

Quantification In general, I may say that an ordinary man probably has 10% of the empathy of an average woman. This is my personal observation and not any scientific report, but does not matter for the purposes of this post. (It could be 20% or 60% according to others but that's losing the forest for the trees)

Indecision, Intuition, submissiveness, etc When you think about it, most female characteristics are the result of her ability to switch from one predominant feeling to the next with effortless ease. I call this ability of women fluidity. Fluidity needs something to flow into, a vessel to hold its shape or a force (think gravity) to direct its flow

Decisiveness, Reason, Dominance, etc All male characteristics are the result of the set of characteristics that are complementary to fluidity. I call this solidity. A man must offer the structure for fluidity to work seamlessly or it will flow away.

Emotion management Women predominantly manage emotion, while men predominantly manage goals.

Emotional communication Men communicate facts within the context of goals. For example, I may tell my gym bro to eat a scoop of BCAA before a fasted workout for better gains, or to use synthetic oil on his sports car. The most useful things a man communicates to his fellow man are facts that enable him to achieve his goals. While women can do this as well, they have the ability and need to communicate emotion. In fact, women cannot help but communicate emotion both ways. They absorb your emotion and soak you with theirs. They will keep repeating the same message in different ways as long as they continue to feel the emotion.

Attention A woman forms an image of an idealized man over the course of her life. Her father and any father figures, celebrities, the person she lost her virginity to, the kind of men her friends like and all sorts of experiences shape what she is looking for in a man. Such a man has her attention. If he approaches her, she will be more likely to be receptive regardless of whether she has a boyfriend or she is his teacher or any other social or circumstantial barrier.

Comfort When a woman feels like she can talk to someone and spend time with them without awkwardness, she feels comfort

Attraction When a woman feels like she needs to be with you and feels a longing to be back with you whenever she is away. Note that attention and comfort are not attraction. They will not get you laid. This is why a woman will tell you she likes tall red-haired Irish men (i.e., attention) while she is sleeping with you, a black-haired average height Indian guy. Attention opens doors, comfort will hold it open but only attraction will allow you inside.

Anxiety Women are consistently in a mild to strong state of anxiety. Women are twice as likely as men to have anxiety attacks (ok, this one is scientific). They have anxiety about their looks, whether they are liked, whether they are popular, whether they will be invited to the cool parties and events, whether they are getting enough male attention, etc.

Seeking good feelings Honestly, we all do this. We like to eat good food, see interesting movies, joke with our buddies. Note that the feelings women seek from men are ones they don't usually get interacting with women. Women like to feel the things they miss on their own.

Confidence Women seek men who are confident because being with a confident person eases anxiety. Women seek a man with purpose because it ameliorates indecision. Women seek a dominant man because it fulfills her submissiveness and supporting nature.

Attracting women

They key to attracting women is to know that they will feel what you feel. If you feel like you are putting on an act (by bragging, lying about stuff, pretending to be something you are not), she will feel it and this feeling will disgust her and she will move away. If you are anxious or nervous, she will feel it and feel repulsed. If you feel desperate to be with her, to just hold her, she will feel positively creeped out and move away from you.

Naturally, you need to be at ease as who you are and should never lie or put on an act. You need to be open about the most terrible things about yourself. Let's say you like to strangle kittens. If it ever comes up in conversation, you should not deny it. Do not be afraid of losing her. If serial killers have female fans, kitten stranglers are not a big deal. Now, think about all the minor crap you are worried about. Your poor ping-pong skills. Your divorce. Your height. None of this matters to her if it does not matter to you. Tall men may have her attention, but your ability to give her the right feelings will have her attraction.

Frame therefore is basically about managing your own internal state and holding it solid when she attempts to torment and agitate you. If you are calm and/or amused, you can say anything or nothing and you will maintain attraction. This is why I do not recommend memorizing the right reply to the appropriate shit test. I have successfully managed shit-tests of at least 10 plates by just ignoring whatever they said. The key is not to feel anything but amusement. How do you do this? More in Part2

Conclusion

Read part 2