Let me preface this by saying that I've had several hookups and even an 18 month LTR from Tinder.

Today, I had an extremely insightful conversation with a girl which has shown me just how openly hypergamous and fiercely competitive Tinder has become. I wish I had taken screenshots of the conversation but the girl unmatched me before I thought of it. The exchange went something like this (paraphrased from memory):

[after casual back and forth about a couple things on our bios and her needing to do chores tonight]

Me: You seem cool, if you want a distraction from laundry tonight let's go grab a drunk.

Girl: I can't, I have to do laundry

Me: You can't get away with doing just one load? Besides, we don't have to be out all night

Girl: No i have plans with friends all week and all next weekend. By the time I finished putting on makeup and doing laundry I'd only have an hour free.

Me: I can work with an hour

Girl: You're being awfully pushy. I've made it clear that I don't want to do anything tonight.

Me: Or until next week given that you're busy until then. Are you on here to meet people or just talk with people?

Girl: I just want a day to myself!

Me: We matched today, why are you on here swiping when you are busy until at least next week?

Girl: Alright look, I actually have three Tinder dates this week and five more guys asking me. Those other guys understood when I told them I'm busy why are you being so pushy?

Me: Well, I give you credit for being honest with me instead of immediately unmatching me

Her: I hardcore considered it

Me: I bet those other five guys really think you're hanging out with friends though and not going on dates with better guys you've matched with. More power to you, and them, but I don't have time to "wait my turn"

*she unmatched*

I know. I was a bit of an asshole when I realized she had no real interest in going on a date and was just swiping on Tinder for attention not to actually meet people. Putting that aside, here are my takeaways from that conversation:

  1. Yes, the majority of girls on Tinder are not on Tinder to meet people. They are on Tinder for attention and validation
  2. You need to be in the top 20% of guys she's matched with to even have a shot of getting a date. Tinder's digital nature hides the fact you are in the world's biggest bar with the world's fiercest competition. Tinder is not easier than approaching IRL. Tinder just masks the pain of rejection and hides how often you are actually being rejected
  3. This girl was on Tinder to meet people. However, her queue quickly filled up, as will happen with most girls actually on there to meet people. But she continued swiping for attention and to see if she could find a better guy than who she had lined up. If a girl flakes on you, don't doubt for a second it's for any reason besides she matched with a better guy and gave your spot to him. She will lie to spare your feelings and avoid revealing her hypergamous nature.

Gentlemen, Tinder's simply not worth it anymore. I got lucky when I found that LTR about two years ago now. Since then, Tinder's slowly been moving toward a state of truly enabled hypergamy; an environment too fierce for anyone but the top echelon to compete in and do well enough to justify the time spent. And if you are in that top echelon, do you really need to be spending your time slogging through Tinder? Odds are you'd do better (or at least have more fun trying) in the real world anyway.

So, what to do instead? Well, I'm focusing entirely back on the real world. I'm doubling my efforts in the gym because I'm not in good enough shape to be part of the top 20% yet. I'm getting away from technology and focusing on my real world hobbies and interests. Aaron Clarey is right; you get girls by focusing on developing yourself and becoming an interesting man. My goal now is not to chase women but chase excellence; and let women follow if they want - or not.

Get off Tinder. The company hates men anyway (look up their manprovement video if you haven't seen it already).