I need help

notallama_r · 2017-05-13T07:29:44+00:00

One day at a time my friend. Focus on yourself, read, learn, improve yourself and the rest will follow. Pick up some hobbies, learn you cook, fuck I don't know, just do what makes you happy and push yourself to be the best version of you, for yourself.

Aborted_Midget · 2017-05-13T07:35:55+00:00

If you're actually feeling this bad you really should speak to a psychiatrist and figure out whats wrong. No amount of lifting weights and reading is going to help if you have a legitimate mental condition.

And think of the positives, you said it yourself. You're fully employed, and you're ripped. You're already better than a majority of people.

And don't talk about suicide, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Oh and just out of curiosity can you tell me what your average day is like? What do you enjoy doing? Playing basketball at the park? Video games? What are your hobbies ?

HumbleLion835 · 2017-05-13T05:30:02+00:00

I've been depressed before to the point of considering suicide. The main thing I felt during those times was helpless and not in control of my life. You don't need to be how you are right now, you CAN change.

Meditation helped me a lot to realize this. The books "the power of now" and "a new Earth" by Eckhart Tolle were helpful to me. For the first time in my life I was able to accept my negative emotions and as a result control them. It was truly a powerful and life-changing experience for me to be aware and in control of how I felt.

iamzeuss · 2017-05-13T06:56:22+00:00

Hey man, I used to be in the same boat. Not sure if you've read the book "how to make friends and infulence people", but it did wonders for me when it came to making friends. Good luck ! :)

PowerVitamin · 2017-05-13T07:46:34+00:00

Stop gratifying yourself with stupid porn and video games. You have to face your problems head on.

If it helps you, write them out and face them one at a time. Keep a journal and stay on task. Whatever you do, start now and don't stop. No one is going to pull you out of hell. You have to do it yourself.

RageLionRising · 2017-05-13T05:29:00+00:00

Learn the three big lifts. Or find a way to emulate them. Bench press, squat, and deadlift. They bring an immediate end to mental anguish.
Take a few aspirin or tylenol. Over the counter pain killers dull emotional heartache a tiny bit.
Focus on your career, and ask yourself what is the quickest most efficient way to legally make money that you'll enjoy. Failure in business is when you learn the most so embrace it when it happens, but obviously don't repeat mistakes.
Women are resource hogs. A woman will not make you happy any more than buying a new car. Women are only good for their looks, sex, and their ability to raise your kids. They provide no other value to you. They're not your friend or your companion. They are an obligation and a hassle. You're not missing out on anything.

FancyShal · 2017-05-13T06:58:29+00:00

Is anyone else a tiny bit concerned...?

noct3rn4l · 2017-05-13T08:04:46+00:00

u/changeistheanswer hey bud, if you're really at that point where you're seriously contemplating hurting yourself you need to reach out to a hotline AND I highly encourage you to use the health insurance thru your employer and see a therapist. You're dealing with serious thoughts and that's okay, we all do sometimes, you just need to talk to someone, it'll help tremendously. Unfortunately, you're not going to get the right type of support with the frequency needed to adequately help you through those feelings via this medium. You need to take care of yourself and your mindset before worrying about outside/external factors like friends/girls/etc. With that said, I think you're biggest problem is that you're overthinking things and its affecting your results and interactions. It all goes back to taking care of yourself first. You need to get your head back in the game and just be happy about being you. Then you can focus on self improvement (gym, food, style, lifestyle; around here they call this monk mode), and when you're ready then you can reintroduce yourself as a changed man and get back into the social things. Ironically, it's when you're focusing on improving yourself and your lifestyle that things tend to work themselves out (i.e. Running into ppl at the gym, coffee shop where you read or study, or perform hobbies.).

To address some of your other points let me just say this, having few or no friends is nothing you should feel bad about. It's more common than you might think. Just remember, quality is more important than quantity, 2 really good ride or die friends who are there for you through thick or thin is worth more than 50 friends who gas you up at the bar but no call no show when you need reciprocation. Again, my advice is to talk to someone ASAP, and once your back in the right headspace focus on monk mode, then reintroduce yourself socially. When you're ready for monk mode, Dale Carnegie's book 'How to win friends and influence people' is a must read, I'd also recommend everything in the sidebar of this sub. Best of luck my friend, and remember that you're not alone -- even if it might seem like you are, you aren't.

MattyAnon · 2017-05-13T13:15:34+00:00

I always feel that barely anyone will take as much effort as I do to get to know me.

This is because they need you less than the reverse, and they offer more value to you than the reverse.

Which truly breaks my heart as I know it's my fault but I don't know how to overcome this.

Yes, it's your fault. This is a good start.

My boss caught me sobbing in the bathroom

Err.....

I genuinely believe I have Asperger's but know it's just my mind giving me an excuse to make me think I'm normal.

Maybe you do. There are online tests for it....but they mostly focus on social experiences so there can be other explanations.

I'm asking for help. Concrete help.

Try on asktrp as was told to you when you submitted this post.

Concrete help:

Stop trying to make people laugh. This isn't what makes people like YOU.
Stop trying to make friends. Work instead on just getting basic social interactions working for you. Trying to be friends is too much pressure on both sides.
Charisma is value plus liking the other person. Men like both, women want to see the value before you express the interest.

Basically first and foremost - value. Live your life, live it well, stand for something, be something. Fuck the haters, even if that's the entire planet. Live by your values and live it for yourself first and foremost. Everyone else is second to YOU. What do YOU want to do? Sure, social issues are your biggest issue right now but fuck that noise. Build and work on you, get on YOUR mission. People will get in line behind you easily when you're a powerhouse of a self-actualising mission machine.

suske127 · 2017-05-13T07:10:48+00:00

Hey there brother. Future moral tip from myself, never mention suicide in a situation like this (posting on TRP) ~ makes you look like you're attention seeking.

With that said, I'm sorry to hear how things have gone for you thus far in life. I've felt' the way you have before, and when I do I remind myself that I only get one life. It's cliche' as hell, but I only get one chance to do everything I can do, here on earth. So even if it seems like it'll mostly suck, I'd always trek on.

Anyways with that said, my advice to you would be to A: practice great posture and B: shut the hell up. These are two things I've been working on myself, as I tend to be "socially awkward" too. And it's a life changer. People see you walking confidently and they assume you're a valuable man. Then they try to talk to you, or notice you don't initiate, and it increases your perceived value even more. Then, when you do enter conversations, you're already ahead of the game - heir hamster is on your side (they already assume you're a cool guy)

Making close friends is hard after high school and especially after college. The closest bonds are shared when two people meet each other from a lonely state; meaning you need to find another lonely person in order to become close friends with them. The downside to this is most lonely people will be the unsuccessful ones who you may not want to associate with. On the up side, you could meet a great person who just happens to be lonely, and the two of you could help each other become great. Making friends is hard, though.

Message me if you want specifics on how to fix posture, if yours isn't good already. And remember no mater how many assholes are on here, we've all got your back

Title	I need help
Author	ChangeIsTheAnswer
Upvotes	9
Comments	17
Date	May 13, 2017 5:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6aw6pw/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-need-help.43194 https://theredarchive.com/post/43194

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