Hey there. I have a different sort of post. I'm not interested in a girl, I have one. I'm not having relationship issues. The issue I'm having is deeper, it's something that's been pushed into my mind since childhood. I was raised without a father. My mom, aunts and grandmother raised me and my male role models were few and far between. Perhaps other men on here can relate to what I'm about to describe, maybe not though.

Growing up, I was treated almost like I was a weapon. I don't mean that I was seen in a negative light or that I was abused, but I was seen as 'dangerous'. My mother always stressed for me to hold back. Hold back my strength (I've always been a lot stronger and bigger than others), hold back my opinions and even my intelligence (it's not that I'm smarter than others, I think I'm -maybe- above average or what average used to be). I'm an adult now and I always hold back. I never give 100%. I don't even have much issue with possibly displeasing anyone, it's just some subconscious desire to not show anyone up or otherwise.

Any others experience this? Maybe it's just a male/human thing? I don't know, I haven't been able to really speak to other men about it.