Summary: In essence, swallowing the red pill is a on-going process that men take in an effort to self-actualize. Successfully doing so takes time and is difficult, and many mistakes may be made subconsciously.

Body:

My first mistake upon discovering this sub was my inability to truly internalize and apply TRP's concepts.

I, like many others... perhaps like YOU right now, defaulted to religiously reading the material on this sub.

I studied everything, but did nothing. I did not apply what I learned, and instead, sat back in my day to day ventures and confirmed TRP's existence through observation. I'd spend evenings reading each and every post seven days a week. I familiarized myself with the lingo and eventually became a walking red pill encyclopedia. There wasn't a single shit on my toilet that was not spent on this sub over the past year.

True story.

What I'm getting at (which you may have already realized through how absurd I sound) is that knowledge without application is useless. Most of us are aware of that. Hopefully.

But the act of swallowing the pill is a process that I have only truly recently begun, and today I'd like to share another mistake I have committed and realized.

Oneitis is a condition not exclusive towards girls.

Your relationships with ALL human beings on this planet may fall victim to the shortcomings of being diagnosed with oneitis if you are not careful. Relying on relationships as a measure of self-worth and source of validation will hinder your progress as a RP man.

For the purpose of this post, I will be discussing oneitis in the case of friendships.

First and foremost, we must realize that friendships by nature are always temporary. They sink all the time either through dissolution or death.

My mistake was that I had replaced my oneitis for a girl with my 'bros' subconsciously. Hear me out. I procrastinated my self-improvement by actively pursuing their company and attention. I had little confidence in myself and found comfort in hanging with the 'homies'. It didn't matter if we barely knew each other, I'd make the effort to earn your approval and you'd mistake that as friendship.

Instead of figuring out who I was as a person or instead of improving myself, I would actively seek out their validation and catered to their needs to an extent. I was in a position in my life where I refused to involve myself with women and instead spent my time with men because I knew that only men could be truly loyal. No homo.

I valued my friendships too highly by prioritizing my friends over myself. It was a reflection of my oneitis condition and my inability to respect myself. I believe that this may ring true for others currently swallowing the pill and I want to share some insight.

Your purpose as a RP man is to pursue YOUR mission. Existence as a red pill man is a reflection of your pursuit of realizing and fulfilling it. True friendships are comrades assisting you in your journey, and vice versa. By giving away my time so freely to friends for validation, I was destroying my reputation.

No matter how social you are, how high your SMV is, or how much value you bring to the table, people will get tired of your presence if you give it so freely and often. By being the friendliest of friends, you are committing the same mistake of being the nicest guy with women.

Friends who care about you care about what you stand for. It resonates with them on some level. You've become an extension to their identity. You're 'their' friend. Some friends may help you fulfill your mission by aiding you with their input and resources. These friends are valuable. Appreciate it and reciprocate the gesture.

You must however remain independent in the sense that no one will ever complete your mission for you.

The friends that do not help you on your mission should never be a priority. They are companions at best when convenient, not an extension of your everyday reality.

In pursuing my bodybuilding goals more seriously, I found myself spending less time with my drinking friends, and more time with the gym bros. This is okay. Losing friends is part of growing up.

You are the product of the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Be careful with who those people are. Their presence in your life has a bigger impact than you'd imagine.

I believe that there are two types of men in this world.

There are the men that wish to enjoy the world, and the men that wish to build it.

By self-actualizing through extensive contemplation, I have realized who I want to become. I am a man that wishes to build the world. For better.

In realizing so, my friendships with those that are in unison with my nature have improved greatly. I've strengthened my friendships with men that wish to build the world more than the men that wish to enjoy it. I value my builder friends more than my enjoyer friends. Realizing that there is nothing wrong with that has made me a happier person.

However, time spent with those similar to your nature will be easier than those that contrast it. Do not over commit and compromise as it shows a lack of self-respect.

Over the past few months, I have started a few small businesses with my builder friends rather than spending time on trips with my enjoyer friends. I used more time improving my skill-intensive hobbies with my builder friends than going to concerts and clubs with my enjoyer friends. In doing so, I have made my life better by improving my most relevant friendships and pursuing my mission.

At the end of the day, your fellow soldiers that die alongside you on the battlefield die for the same purpose as you do. Ensure that your friends are an extension of your purpose and you will become the happiest you will ever be.

Lessons Learned:

  • Respect yourself by respecting your mission. Friends are an accessory to your self-actualization, and may sometimes help or hinder the process. Identify who those friends are and use that to your discretion.

  • Your attention is one of your highest standards of value. Give it up freely and often, and you risk diminishing its significance.

  • Oneitis is prioritizing a relationship with an individual over your own improvement. It is a shitty investment.

  • Friendship by nature is temporary. Your mission and the act of pursuing it is not. It may change, but it must always be a priority to you because it cannot be a priority to anyone else. By fostering friendships with similarly driven people, you aid your mission and purpose as a man.

  • There is nothing wrong with befriending others who contrast you in nature. You will however find yourself happier with more meaningful friendships if you identify with those that are similar in nature.

  • TRP is useless without application. Get off your ass and meet some people.