Problems are part of the human experience. Wishing problems to go away so I can live a life of calm, peace and harmony isn't being real and in the end, isn't living. I need to learn adaptive strategies to deal with problems, rather than flash point solutions to the problem of the moment. Real learning is gained through adapting solutions to problems and generalizing these into my approach towards living.

I spent a lot of money on a psychologist, yet wasn't being taught adaptive responses and strategies. Instead we focused on immediate problems and developed responses to them. This helped with the needs of the moment, but it would never teach me to stand on my own since responses were not generalized to common life situations. Since problems manifest themselves in new ways, I would continue to consult with The psychologist on each new problem variant.

I need to take the various relationship problems, generalize them and develop adaptive strategies for effectively responding to them. Dealing with problems one-off means I perpetuate a dependency on my psychologist, rather than building stronger relationship problem solving skills in myself.

If I had to do it all over again with that psychologist, or any counsellor, I would right from the start insisted on creating responses I could adapt to other problems cropping up in my life. That would have been true value for the money spent. Example, my oldest daughter was scolding me the other day, just like her mom used to do in my Blue Pill marriage. How to respond to what was totally inappropriate response from a female. As she's my daughter, I don't get to next her. But still, it's about boundaries and choosing my response.

I look at Red Pill in the same light. I read about men's responses to the problems in their lives and work to generalize them into pattern responses to problems. For as men know, AWALT.