~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
doat1
[–]wantonton 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Good job on trying to improve and it sounds like you're having some initial success.
However, I believe you're still over thinking things. This may be because you simply need to build your confidence to do anything, but keep this in mind.
She's giving you clear green lights and you're hesitating. Stop, confidence is what women want, not calculation or planned desire. When she says you're not giving a clear indication of interest, RIGHT THEN fix it. Give her unequivocal interest. Not later. What's to think about?
You're thinking about what you might be able to do at a party with her? You have a plan? That plan is to just go for it? What's that mean.
What you're doing is what women complain about not being able to connect, or there was nothing emotional. You're too much in your head, you need to be in hers. You need to be able to see where she's at, emotionally interact with it so you can set frame and lead and act without hesitation.
Again, I know you're new and taking steps, just make sure they're leading in this direction.
[–]doat1[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I am in my head too much I need help working on that I do over think things too. The reason why I couldn't make the move sooner was because there wasn't an opportunity to do so.
What I mean is to bang her at the party, she wants to go with me she brought it up yesterday she seems to be looking forward to it.
So how do I work on connecting emotionally? This is new territory for me everyone I know went through this stuff in middle school and I am finally going through it now at 25. She is a bit difficult to read at times because the way she is with me she kind of acts like she isn't interested but she always wants to talk to me or eat lunch up front with her and such. Now I know for sure I am all set, so that built up my confidence even more as well as making a move.
[–]wantonton 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don't connect with her emotionally, that's just an illusion on her end. It's created by positively reinforcing her emotions with your actions. Key words: her emotions and your actions.
You do that by being aware and in the moment. You know all that talking you do to yourself in your head? Stop it. Watch, understand, react. Will you make errors? Yes, that's how you learn. See what she's doing and react. See how she reacts. Was her reaction what you expected? No, remember and adjust either with her or others in the future. Was it what you expected? Yes, good remember what it meant. Repeat and learn.
A lot of people say that meditating is a good exercise for learning how to get out of your head and in the moment. I agree. Actually doing it when interacting with people is better.
You also need to incorporate frame. That is entering the situation secure in the knowledge that you are the prize. Why wouldn't she want you to escalate? She wouldn't and that means she does. Why does she? Because you're funny, confident, what ever. Deliver; watch her reaction; respond; escalate; learn; repeat.
[–]doat1[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you very much that is very helpful info I will apply them and get out of my damn head and watch, react, and remember.
[–]SeekingTheWay0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
balsy moves, good for you.
although many women may feel this escallation to be too rapid.
Thanks, it may seem rapid because I shortened the story a bit but we've been flirting and playing grab ass before.
[–]JayViceroy-2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There are too many girls in this world to shit where you eat. If you value your job at any level, immediately stop trying to fuck a girl you work with. If this job doesn't matter, I still would not recommend it.
I'm not really sure where this fits into TRP though. There's little to no value from your post, you're simply just telling a story.
[–]doat1[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a field report just sharing my story and getting some feedback.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]wantonton 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]doat1[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wantonton 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]doat1[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SeekingTheWay0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]doat1[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JayViceroy-2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]doat1[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link