I got my share of ass pre-marriage, back in my 20s. The bitches we into me because I seemed confident and like I did not give a shit if they, or anyone, was into me. In truth, I did not care. This seems a little fucked up, since the Bitches are throwing themselves at a dude that does not give a shit about them. But that is the attitude they seem to like.

Now, at this stage in my life, I hate to say it but I did some really despicable shit to women during my pre-marriage life. I cheated, usually hiding it then revealing it when I was ready for a particular girl to exit my life. I have intentionally seduced women from their boyfriends, fuck them, and then dropped them, just for sport or because I was pissed at the dude. One time I was banging 2 different girls named Leslie. On my birthday one sent me balloons and the other sent a gift, both to my office. Both cards just said "Leslie", so I did not know who sent what. Not wanting to fuck up I lied to both and said that nothing ever arrived for me. I always kept 2 cell phones so I could give bitches my secondary number and not have to be bothered with them calling my primary number. I once fucked the heinously ugly mother of a chick I was banging just so I could say I did it.

So, now after writing those things, and upon reflection, they don't seem so bad anymore. There are probably other things that I am forgetting. The point is that I just did not care about these bitches, and perversely, this is exactly why I got them. Then I fell for one and got married.

I maintained Alpha status for a long time. But over time I had to make concessions and compromises. It is hard not to when you are with the same person day in and day out. I did not go Total pussy, but I changed from the man I was prior to marriage.

I did, however, remain dominate. There were plenty of clashes. I was who I was, and she was always trying to engage and win influence. However, my dominance was limited to certain areas and not the marriage as a whole. Maybe it should of been, or not. I don't know. We were both strong personalities.

In the end I think she wanted out of the marriage and she wanted to do it in a way to strike at me, with malice. That is why she cheated. Do I blame myself? Nope. Power plays in Marriage do not justify schlogging on some other dude's cock.

But after I sent her off to live in another town (I did, too. I rented her an apartment and pre-paid 6 months rent for her ass) and we permanently separated while the divorce was pending, I did a lot of thinking. I had definitely changed as a man. I was much more emotional and sentimental. But here is the worst thing I discovered upon reflection, and men fall victim to this self-defeatist calamity all the time: I became stuck in the status quo. It was like pure stagnation as an individual.

I remembered what I was like pre-marriage: Fucking whenever I wanted with very little effort on my part, not giving a shit about the consequences of my natural inclinations, compartmentalized emotion, etc... I have a BA and a post grad degree. I have a profession and a career, and I have been self-employed in this career since I was 25. I work hard and do my job well and ethically, but when it comes to women, I just had my way. I was confident, did not care if they liked me or not, and always had money in my pocket.

It took me awhile to get over the divorce. I think it was the profound rejection of ME that hurt more than the fighting and the cheating. I had to rediscover who I am. I finally did, though now I am more seasoned and less reckless. In fact I am not reckless at all now.

My point here is that men get into these emotional relationships and they get their heads all fucked. There is not an Alpha male who will maintain that status after a few years with a woman in a marriage. If they do then their marriage will end up being fucked up. I am not saying necessarily that I had Alpha status during my marriage so much as I am saying that I was strong willed and do not like making compromises. I also take people at their word and do not deal well with all of the emotional manipulation that come from women during relationships. I do know that marriage is not for me.

With all that said, do you really think that you can be an Alpha and maintain that status through a marriage? Another way of putting it, do you think you will to change your Alpha status once you become married or part of a committed relationship to accommodate for all the concessions and compromises you will be expected to make?