There was a post dropping the epithet that appeared very briefly on a friendly subforum. This was my response. I hope it offers a starting point for discussion.

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It amazes me so many men allow themselves to get intellectually and psychologically ensnared by this epithet.

A few points. First, we live in an age of estrangement and isolation. Some men--some white men--suffer from this, just as some women and poc do. But it is only white hetersexual men who get derided for it.

Beyond that, not all, perhaps not even most incels or young men who have struggled in the sexual marketplace are physically repulsive.

More and more young men are left to bear the brunt of single mothers, who do not provide male leadership. I myself had to leave the woman I was born from when I was 14. (I wont call her mother, but by her name, as I have cut off contact for good a decade ago after repeated fallouts. She was an alcoholic, habitual pot-user, and quite promiscuous, always flocking to men beneath her despite her natural beauty and intelligence. I beared the brunt of her parental negligence and abuse, not to mention her patholigical resentment of men emanating from her poor taste in men.

In my youth, meeting girls was a difficulty for me. Not having a normal mother and father made me the other in a rich, affluent suburb (note that the wokesters most likely to drop the word incel always talk of compassion for those othered. My grandparents were a mixed bag, generous in some respects but remarkably stingy and controlling in others. Being dependent on and living with your grandparents carries a lot of stigma, especially an association with oné's grandmother. Recall that kid in Portland who tried to shield that "sex girl" ethot who spread-eagled her gash in front of those Portland cops. Yes he was rightly mocked for simping for her (although what adolescent boy will not have his eyes pop when someone spreads her legs and pussy on the street in public. But he was also mocked because his grandmother bought him a garment. Compare and contrast that with frat boys who have everything bought for them by mommy and daddy.

I highly recommend the book I am Charlotte Simmons. The half-Jewish character Adam was arguably an incel. He was at least sexually frustrated. In the end, after Charlotte was date raped, her took her in, nursed her back to health, and she started to feel infatuated with him, but that was short-circuited because her peers--I am reluctantl even to call them friends--disapporved. Ie social proof. Tom Wolfe went to great lengths to warrant that he was objectively handsome. But he was an outsider, did not enjoy the higher economic-socio status that her other two suitors did. And that was outcome determinative.

I am in my late 40s now, and have been in a long term relationship for about a decade (whether it is marriage, engagement, live in I won't disclose, I have already divulged too much. But the past I have had to overcome by a criminally negligent and abusve mother, not having met my father, and having my hands tied behind my back my controlling miserly grandparents will always be with me.