I thought I was close but I realize that I am not. I see the light, but I haven't made all the steps to get me there. The best way I can describe my issue and where I need help is the Dark Triad and how it relates to women. I'm going to give a bit of back story first. Also, to put this out there, I don't necessarily advocate all the characteristics involved in the DT, but i see how many can be very useful if used properly. In hopes to keep this post as short as possible (not going to happen), I'm going to relate it to women and my particular situation.

I feel that I certainly am close to having 2 of the 3 main ideas down almost by nature. That being Narcissism and Psychopathy. Perhaps my only issue with Narcissism (and it's a big one) is self confidence. But that's actually because of my childhood as I see it. To make this as succinct as possible, I grew up being the brainiac in school, but always short and skinny. In 9th grade, I was 5'3" 98 lbs and got picked on by the guys and even girls (mentally). Then prior to 11th grade, I grew 7 inches and gained 60 pounds during one summer. By the time I graduated, I was 6'0" 185 lbs. I owe the weight gain to diet, working out, and determination. At times, I would eat and eat until I threw up from overeating. Though if I did that, that would piss me off and I'd have to eat more. That's how excessively determined I was to gain weight. But whatever. By the time I was a senior, it was a complete transformation, specifically on how people treated me. So that's where I think the self confidence issue comes into play.

I'm currently 32, 9/10 on looks, thick build, not ripped, but strong. My work experience is in the banking and finance industry. My SMV is likely relatively low when I actually tell my recent story. Another big reason why I am having issues is that I am basically confined to my house (mom's house) for another 2 months. 10 months ago, I was in a severe accident, and spent 2 months in the hospital. Surviving what happened, somehow I only needed surgery on my knee. Yet, the knee got infected and subsequently have needed additional surgeries. 10 months later, I'm almost back to normal, but I'm still waiting for a small wound to completely heal from the infection. After the 2 month stint in the hospital, I moved back home because I couldn't work or drive. At this point, I still can't do either (doctor's orders). Once my knee heals fully, then I can start working again and driving again. Then I move out and get an apartment. Then things will be looking very good and my SMV sky rockets. But at this point, I'm going stir crazy, but I know that I just need to be patient.

Okay, now that I have gotten that part out of the way, I'm trying to start getting things rolling a bit early with girls on FB and other dating sites like POF and Tinder. However, I'm having trouble with any sort of Machiavellianism and being successful in lining things up for the future anyway. I don't know if I have a moral dilemma or I'm just afraid to actually of being an asshole. I'm certainly got egotism, gradiosity, impulsivity, and lots of neuroticism. I think I got the manipulating part down, but at a very subtle level. Yet the disregard for morality and/or lack of empathy is nowhere to be found. I need help realizing that it's okay to be like this with women (that are not family or very close friends). Can you provide me with any advice in achieving all 3 phases with women. Or do you think that I should take what I have and possibly make some strategic change? I don't know. I'm really frustrated right now because I'm having no luck with women. Even the ones that don't know I live at home right now, and see me as the guy who is good looking, has a degree from a good university, works out, are not responding to me very well. I'm fuckin' tired of this shit. The whole woe is me thing as well. But I am not sure what I can do to get over the hump. Should I just wait it out till I'm fully healed, then try again? Suggestions? Thank you very much for any advice you can give.