I've been seeing a girl for almost 3 months, and it was the first time I really got the chance to act like a selfish asshole in a relationship. About a month in was the first time we had sex, she asked me to be her bf, I agreed because I felt secure and I wanted a relationship too. Soon after, I realized her asking me that was nothing more than a shit test. I decided to be a little nicer, open, answer more of her questions instead of teasing her...next thing I know I'm being passive and she's acting hostile.

Fast forward to last week, she comes over to have "a talk." Things are going better, we're making out, but she's being resistant and misbehaving. I realize I'm just taking her crap, and I can continue while hoping she stops or do something different. I start kissing her again, more resistance; I'm in control and I fly off the handle. I walk to the front door, open it, tell her I can't deal with her shit and to get out. She goes over to the door, closes it, I sit down on the couch and turn of the tv while ignoring her. She sits down next to me, tries to talk to me, I tell her she's being all hot and cold and there's nothing to discuss. Two minutes later she's on top of me, grinding me, trying to kiss me. I indulge her, but just a little at first making her work for it. Then I make her wait while I set the DVR, go upstairs, and fuck her more passionately than she's ever been banged.

I get a happy good morning msg the next day. Later that night she comes over, unannounced. I'm jerky because I wasn't expecting anyone, and kick her out after about a half hour. She didn't contact me for a few days so I contact her, no response, decide she's prolly dead and morn her for 3 seconds, then carry on with my life. She contacts me a few days later saying hi. I was done a few days ago, but what do I do, I don't want her any more? I know I've some things to learn about spinning plates, I see lying as a crutch and we agreed on monogamy, but I'm done with this girl. I figure I can either half heartedly answer her messages, ignore her completely, or break up. Well, David Wygant has some excellent products, one mp3 explores the break up dynamic. I listened to hit a few months prior, and after listening to it tonight I give her a call, we talk, she still wants to be with me but I lead the conversation, stop hinting, and pull the trigger. She seemed sad, but not bummed, and we both got closure.

While having the break up conversation, she told me I was kind of an asshole, and to be more gentlemanly since girls like her appreciate that. Honestly, I had to put her on mute because I couldn't contain my laughter, my eyes started watering. She said all the guys before me were gentlemen, and the time she spent with me were like a rollercoaster. Frankly, she's lucky to have spent the little time she did with me, and I know that the next "gentleman" she goes out with is gonna drive her lips right onto my dick.

What I learned was to maintain my frame; learned lots about shit tests, I saw nearly every question she asked as a shit test, I would respond by either teasing or ignoring it...later on a friend told me I go too far on that, tease first, then answer, you can maintain attraction and I won't seem socially inept at the same time; she claimed she wasn't playing games when not contacting me, I feel this was bullshit and she was pushing me to break up so she could be the victim, if so, good for her; learned most importantly to set my own pace, not rush into things, especially a monogamous relationship, I screen her well but it's clear that a month isn't long enough.