Before you read, it is a long post. I would like to get an outside perspective on this. It is an odd and unusual situation that I'm in.

So here it goes: I've never had too many a problem with girls. I have a pretty solid RP mentality and I've always had a good idea of how to keep the attraction with girls. Unfortunately, I've had an illness for the past 3 years or so. I have had some kind of bacterial infection in my intestines. The symptoms are not too serious or nasty, but the way it affects me is that my energy levels have come down substantially, and my mood is also affected throughout the day. I used to be very active with sports and the gym, but I am a weaker and less outgoing guy now. I've been keeping it under control for all this time, but I can’t seem to get rid of it completely. I don't feel like myself most of the time, and it prevents me from going to the gym as much, and when I do, my symptoms get worse. Besides that, I have several other good things going for me. I have taken medicine but to no avail.

Throughout all this time, I have avoided all serious relationships with girls because I don't want to get into anything when I'm not 100%. Several girls have pursued me, but I have turned them down. The most recent one is the one who I'm having a problem with. I met her at my previous job approximately 3 years ago. Beautiful girl, an 8, bordering a 9. Blonde, tall, smart, polish, virgin, good family. I became her friend because that's all I could do with my illness and all. We built a great connection, and despite my illness she became attracted to me. It helped that she knows about my history with several other girls, and at one point even her hot best friend confessed to her that she wanted to fuck me. I've tried cutting contact with her because if I can’t be anything other than her friend, then I don't want to be anything, but we always end up talking again. I try avoiding her, but it makes her more interested in me. 6 months ago after I had cut contact with her, she invited me to eat. Lo and behold I had to cancel because I was feeling ill that particular day. I stopped contacting her again because I didn't want to keep rejecting her. I know I somehow broke her heart because of the things she posted on social media. Recently she texted me again with a picture of us, and a text saying, "aww the good ol days." I replied and carried a conversation about what we had been up to. But I am still ill, and I know sooner or later I'm going to end up rejecting her invitations again.

How do I handle it from here? Keep avoiding her, without any real explanation? I'm tired of rejecting her all the time. I don't know how to go about it, and explain to her the real problem. How do I dump all of this shit onto her. I know girls hate hearing about your problems. I don’t want to be the weak beta who pours his heart out, but I don't want to keep stringing her along and keep confusing the shit out of her.