Summary

Frame control is one of the core tenets of TRP. This is broken down in the context of dating, whether it's a first date or a flirty and casual conversation with a woman. There're examples that link the theory and the practice.

 

Intro

On TRP constantly emphasize the importance of "holding frame", "frame control", "brining her into your frame" and such. And this for a reason - It is so key it cannot be overstated. Yet the problem is, if you've never brought her into your frame by being aware of it, chances are you don't know what does that even mean. When you see Frame Master - 10th dan completely capture a woman into his own reality, you rationally understand frame is catnip for women, but you could not for the sake of everything that is red replicate it. Not even at gun point. Let alone break it down.

If that's you, keep reading, this post will help you. It will also cast in new light the various posts on shit-tests you can find on TRP, and help you see behind Agree&Amplfy and other ways of dealing with them. And if you are that Frame Master, share your examples!

 

Theory

When communicating with a woman, you can speak to her on various levels. For what matters here, there are three levels I want to emphasize:

  1. Natural men-like conversation

  2. Master of your own frame

  3. Flirty frame control

 

Let's break these down.

 

Natural men-like conversation

This should be pretty clear, it's the way you talk to your bros, to your boss, to the people in a meeting with you. You say what you mean, you mean what you say and are basically trying to get stuff done. Whether you're organizing a trip with your buddies, or you're reporting to your boss on shit that is happening, there's nothing more to the conversation than what is being communicated at face value. You are a man, and you want to get stuff done.

When you speak to a woman like that.... that's when the conversations go from where did she grow up, to what does she do, to how many siblings she has, and if she prefers dogs or cats. Her replies are generally end with "How about you?". If most of her replies are like that, that's when you know you are having an interview-like date, which is not gonna lead to sex anytime too soon, if at all.

Needless to say, your frame here is... her frame. Or "society's acceptable date behaviour" frame. Don't know what's worse.

As an example, let's say she tells you she bought a new dress. Conversation at this level would have you ask where did she buy it, how much she paid for it, what colour it is, blah, blargh, bleurgh. You'll get answers, and become invisible in her eyes. This is also the level where the communication tends to stall, and you don't know what to say next.

 

Master of your own frame

When you communicate at this level, the conversation will often ignore what she's saying and get derailed by what you're interested in. You are taking control of the conversation here. This can be very abrupt, or it can be subtle. If sex is the goal, subtle is the way to.

What you do is you take what she's telling you at face value, and look for "secondary" meaning. And start talking about it. When she tells you about the dress, you could ask her if she buys many dresses every month. The face value communication here is about the dress. The secondary could be what this implies... Does she know how to handle money or is she just a brainless bimbo after everything nice? You are screening her.

This might spark some attraction, but the main outcome here is respect. She will respect you as someone with his own opinions and ideas. This is also the best way to communicate with her AFTER you've had sex with her. It will keep her coming back for more.

 

Flirty frame control

This is the communication level that revs up those tingles to Niagra falls level. Here you are not only the master of your own frame, but are spinning that secondary communication meaning to the point where it's just plain silly. You twist her words, accuse her of something, flat out refuse to answer. This is where you start "treating her like she's a little girl". But you cannot do that without being a master of your own frame first.

And that's the point where she's gonna start lapping up every your word like it's catnip. Back to the dress example, you can answer

"Oh. Em. Gee. I bet you spend tons of money on dresses and shoes... you only want me for my money!!!"

You are not talking about the dress anymore. You have mastered your own frame. And you're twisting it out of control accusing her she's a gold digger. This kind of conversation cannot happen in a serious way. It's virtually impossible to say this stuff by being serious. If you do she's gonna call the police, and rightly so, because you'll freak the shit out of her. (Side note - Don't be a clown. Say it with a massive grin on your face.)

 

Examples

I am one of those guys who just needs a ton of examples in addition to the theory to get it, so a few more examples of the three levels of communication will hopefully make it more clear. Re-read these in light of the theoretical breakdown, will help it sinking in. Also, keep in mind that this can be applied to communication that happens via text just as well.

 

What do you do/Where do you work?

Very often a first conversation will start with boring shit - In case you haven't figure this out yet, women are terrible at small talk. Yeah, the burden is on you.

[Level 1] "I flip burgers/manage a company/travel between NY and LA/blah, blargh, bleurgh."

[Level 2] "Since I was a kid I wanted to do [job]. What did you want to grow up to be?"

[Level 3] "Why do you wanna know? Trying to stalk me?"

 

Aren't my toenails nice??

I got a pic from a FWB at some point early on. Previously I mentioned I really like it when women have well done make up and (real) nails. She was showing me her toenails job. In the background, I noticed a bladeless Dyson fan. I happen to be a massive fan (pun not intended) of Dyson's stuff, which is also pretty pricey.

[Level 1] "Nicely done. How long did it take you to do them? Where did you get them done? Blah, blargh, bleurgh."

[Level 2] "How often do you have them done?"

[Level 3] "Is that a Dyson fan? Nice. You must be rich... wanna get married?"

My response was the last one, and got me what we both I wanted.

 

I'm not sending you a pic of my boobs.

This was a shit-text from a girl that became a plate.

[Level 1] "Why not? That would be nice. Blah, blargh, bleurgh."

[Level 2] "Reign in your horses. When I'll want it, I'll as ask for one."

[Level 3] "Full nudes only, please."

My response was the Level 2 one, it worked like a charm.

 

Lessons Learned

  • To communicate successfully with women you must go beyond face value communication.

  • You cannot skip a level - You must master Level 2 before you can master Level 3

  • Understand where you are and practice, practice, practice...