Opinions

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-10-16T15:54:14+00:00

No you did okay.

If she was attempting to manipulate you by denying interest in sex when you wanted to do it (and it wasn't because she was having her period or something) then you should not reward such behavior.

However... I'm wondering what kind of relationship you have at this point.

Why is she rejecting the offer?

The story is usually deeper than is initially revealed... had you fought the day before?

Women have difficulty wanting sex when they are struggling on the hamster wheel with something on their mind, so you need to go back to before the offer and consider what got you there.

All things have deeper contexts... nothing is an accident or random.

Battle-Scars · 2016-10-16T16:05:47+00:00

I would make her sit down, read the sidebar and point out to you the part that's says questions and personal advice go in AskTrp.

frys180 · 2016-10-18T07:50:00+00:00

Am I an asshole for making my girl pay for her own food when she doesn't wanna have sex with me?

This doesn't make you an asshole. However, if/when she catches on, she'll not only feel it's petty, but she'll internalize the belief more than ever that you need sex from her. When a girl feels like you need sex from her, she begins to pervasively lose interest. They want guys that desire sex. Not need it.

Every time I try to fuck & she says no and we go out somewhere that day I make her pickup her own shit.

I know where you're coming from. You feel you're doing so much for your woman, giving up so much time and resources and yet, not even regarding sex, it feels as if she doesn't really appreciate what you're doing, or worse, takes some things you do for granted. Which makes you feel things like,

"If you don't feel like having sex then I don't feel like paying for any of your shit."

As far as correlation is considered, she most likely has picked up on it. While in some ways you may feel your actions are justified, (especially if she's taking more than what she's giving and sex being the straw that breaks the camel's back) to her, it only translates as pettiness and neediness. Instead of having your mindset framed in this manner, interpret it instead as a non-issue. Because at the end of the day, it really isn't. I'll explain.

When my gf wouldn't reciprocate my sexual advances, I used to get frustrated about it. I never told her explicitly I was frustrated but I'm sure my body language did and she picked up on it. This of course led to the snowball effect of making her feel pressured/obligated and I noticed a gradual change in her behavior. She'd still be affectionate, but nowhere near as sexual. It went down to about once a week. Eventually it got to a point where she may as well have just been a platonic friend. What changed everything was my attitude on the matter. Instead of becoming frustrated at her for not initiating/reciprocating, I genuinely started to not give a shit.

I began spending less time with her.
I hung out with other people and did more things separate from her.
I was more openly active (flirting, talking, joking, etc.) with other women when around her. Bonus points when those women were warm to my style.
I greatly reduced the amount of times I initiated sex and if she stayed on her phone while I was touching her, or if I found myself putting way more effort into the interaction than she was, I, very nonchalantly, instantly stopped what I was doing.

Overall, I behaved more or less the same (besides the differences noted) but I invested less.

Long story short, this change in behavior resulted in a complete 180 in her actions. She became more sexually open. She began initiating more. She started doing more of the chasing as opposed to me chasing her. Here's the thing though. I didn't do any of this with malicious intent, nor was I too upset about it. It was a pure, genuine reaction to the situation at hand. This goes back to the topic of reframing your perspective on the matter of it not mattering whether or not she gives you sex.

I was tired of her never initiating and me rarely getting any progress when I initiated. I didn't/don't need sex from her and I found it pointless for me to have put myself in such a bind for not getting it from her. If things didn't improve, I was ready to get sex from other women. She's not a bad person and I don't blame her for anything she did, but the cold hard truth (as you already know) is that attraction cannot be negotiated. It's simple. What I was doing before was killing her attraction, and what I did after made me more attractive. If nothing I did changed anything for the better, what could I've done instead?

"Why aren't you initiating sex with me?" "What can we do to reinvigorate this relationship?"

I don't have a vagina and I still felt dry writing that. Hell, what is she going to tell me. "Remind me that you're a valuable and desirable male by other women and peers..?" I wish I could give her as much love, affection, attention, adoration and validation she wants without worrying about giving too much of what she "wants" and losing attraction. It's a constant game of push-pull, and till this day, it goes up and down in phases. Every time without fail when I start getting too comfortable, things go downhill. This dynamic used to upset me at first, but eventually I came to accept it as a woman's nature. A sudden wet rainstorm may be upsetting during a nice bike ride, but water is going to be water. And it's going to be wet.

Women just don't get it. They don't understand how much sex means to us. It's not the act that we care about, it's the attention and adoration of our existence that makes us feel like we matter. If it weren't the case, no guy would object to hooking up with prostitutes. No guy would care whether or not a girl gives them sex conditionally or genuinely. Women get this attention and adoration 24/7. Trying to explain this to a woman is like trying to explain water to a fish. All they know is a world with water. They just can't relate. Us men have to keep filling up the bowl (lifting, bettering ourselves, showing women how desirable we are to other women, etc) otherwise it'll all evaporate and we'll be fishes out of water. Women never have to worry about that as society constantly keeps their bowl filled. What they do understand and react to is their water being tampered with. (being fat, aging, their man increasing in sexual value, her witnessing other women interact with him/the men they like more, etc.) They're still surrounded by water (attention and adoration) but they'll do whatever it takes to avoid it becoming polluted. In any case, that's how I solved that problem on my end. Hopefully things will turn more in your favor as time progresses.

One last thing. I make it a point to never chase her more than she chases me. I aim for either 50/50 or more coming from her end. I'm not always 100% with this, (I'm only human) but when I see myself falling in that cycle, I immediately pull myself out of it. You already know this, but women only chase men they perceive to be equal or better than themselves. If I'm chasing more it shows that I'm either investing more than she is, or I'm falling-off somewhere. And quite frankly, *I'd prefer to save that energy for the gym.*

Title	Opinions
Author	Randomshortdude
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	October 16, 2016 3:00 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/57rrkf/opinions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/opinions.63711 https://theredarchive.com/post/63711

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