I’m new here on TRP, never really read much on here but this sub was recommended to me for help with my problems. I’m 30 years old and haven’t had sex with anyone who isn’t an escort in 5 years. Haven’t been in a relationship in 8. Aside from the probably 20 or so escorts I’ve slept with in the past 2 and half years, I can count the number of times I’ve had sex without paying for it in the past 8 years on ONE FUCKING HAND.

I’ve been addicted to porn for most of my life and it kept me from having that natural drive to go pursue real women. The few women I’ve slept with that weren’t escorts, I never did any of the initiating, they always came on to me without me really doing anything. I’ve been afraid of rejection and fucking up what I say or how to touch and escalate so much that I just avoided trying to date in my twenties. I’m trying to deal with my porn addiction and have gotten it down to waaaay less use than I used to. I used to masturbate with a flesh light multiple times per day to porn, multiple times a week. Now if I masturbate it’s maybe a couple times a month. I can never seem to go longer than two or three weeks without going insane before doing it again. I’m determined to do this 90 day reboot that’s recommended but I don’t know if I can last that long, my longest streak has only been 33 days.

I’m just sick and tired of not having a sex life and now that I’m 30 and realize how much sex I missed out on, I feel like it’s too late. I don’t know how to date, I don’t know a damn thing about seduction, and I definitely am never in enough of a happy or playful mood to figure out how to flirt. I’m a decent looking guy, fairly skinny but better than being overweight. I’ve gotten girls before so I know that I’m attractive to some people, I’ve just never gotten a girl from being the one initiating and I know I can’t rely on getting lucky and having them initiate. I hired a dating coach earlier this year and he basically just told me to go out to the mall to approach random women but it was just so awkward that I only did it a handful of times before I stopped. I know a guy my age with such little experience is a huge turnoff and no woman wants to have to be a teacher and expects the guy to lead and know what he’s doing.

So my question is, how do I fix this? I feel like I have so much to work on that it will take me years before I get laid again, and I just don’t want to be that 40 year old loser who never gets laid. This lack of consistent sex in my life has started to make me depressed and I feel like even if I do get a girlfriend or fuckbuddy or whatever, that it’s never going to make up for all the years of sex I missed. I know I should be working out, and I’m in the early stages of starting my own business, and doing new hobbies, but between my current job, working out, and taking a couple hours every day to work on my business, how am I supposed to find time to go out and meet women, even if I DO get over my approach anxiety?

Someone please give me a roadmap to get a sex life, I really don’t want this to continue any longer but I don’t know what I should be doing.