So I've been lurking for a while and I'm starting to realize that from a very young age I was rather alpha. I'm coming to find that this was the condition of most boys before they were told that their behaviors were unacceptable. I can remember a lot the times when I would look out for my best interests as a kid and be told that it was wrong. My family situation was kind of rough (single mom with an abusive boyfriend, moved his whole family into my house and basically abandoned my sister and I in house, dad was out of my life basically until I turned 18), though it's gotten better as I've grown older. Highschool and college were tough times for me, as my alpha nature coflicted with my beta programming. I had a lot of trouble with self esteem. I felt like I was a really shitty dude because, hey, that's what I was told for feeling the way I felt and acting the way I wanted to.

Now in my adult life (24), I am trying to break free of that programming and essentially rediscover myself. This goes so much deeper than just game and picking up women, but into every interaction I have with other human beings. I've never stopped doing my own thing or trying to be my own person, but it's taking on a whole new meaning for me now as I undefine who I was and bring back into focus my true nature. Anyway, thanks TRP, for opening eyes and making me realize that the confident and happy little boy I used to be was not, in fact, a bad kid.