"Hello, I think I'm a sex addict", is my situation explained in one phrase.

I'll be 18 years old in December. I've been masturbating since the age of 12. I don't really know what exactly made me an addict, since most of my friends started around the same age I did, if not sooner.

I literally haven't been able to speak about my problem to anyone, due to the fact that I live in a muslim country and things like that are very taboo. I think around the age of 13, I started masturbating daily, with a minimum of once daily, and a max of 5-6 times. The average has always been around twice daily.

I started watching soft porn like everybody, but as the years went by I started discovering my sexualty. I'm into some pretty weird shit to tell the truth. I always believed in love and always thought of sex as this huge awesome thing. But when I lost my virginity, I felt like it was very overrated. I have never used a condom with a girl, because of the simple fact that sexual entercourse didn't feel good to me, at all. Other than blowjobs, I don't feel anything. At all. This hasn't stopped me from doing it. I became sexually needy with my partners. Very needy. When I have sex I feel like I'm a fucking beast, I would keep thrusting for a long time until I either get bored, or we run out of time. When I lost my virginity, I tried doing it for about 15 minutes but asked my partner to stop because I didn't like it.

At my current state, I feel like absolute shit. I stopped feeling any sort of connection to humans. I used to care a lot about people especially girls, but not anymore, I feel like they can only benefit me sexually. For example, I had a girl best friend for 8 years but this year I didn't feel anything towards her so I just stopped seeing her completely. Sometimes I do feel alone, but then my mind goes all negative, and I convince myself that I don't really care about anyone, and no one truly cares about me.

Last week I had an ex sit with me during lunch with a couple of mates at school, somehow I ended up fingering her under the table, with all our friends sitting at the same table. I fucking loved it. The following day a friend of mine told me that my ex currently has a boyfriend. I felt sick. I couldn't think straight, I didn't even ask her about herself and wether she's seeing someone. I went straight to sex. When I'm horny, my mind feels like it's on drugs. I can't think, at all. I can't even count the number of times I arrived late to school, because I woke up with a morning boner and had to spend 15 minutes jerking off.

Sometimes it feels like the only thing that helps me escape from my problems is masturbating or having sex.