Taking the redpill is tough, but it's even tougher if you're a victim of child abuse. I know different people have different perspectives on child abuse, and I'm not going to hate your for it but to me if you need to beat someone to get them to listen to you, you're just not that good at life. Just like if you need to beat your wife to keep her around you could make improvements. Anyway, it doesn't really matter because I'm talking about extreme levels of physical child abuse, not just occasionally getting a beating to drill a point home - like so much that you felt fear instead of happiness after seeing your father in a year, etc.

I'm going to try to not rant about my personal life but more so about how it's specifically affected my mind in ways that directly contradict TRP and make it tough to endorse and hopefully see how other experienced members who have had similar experiences dealt with this and hope that this thread can also be of use to other people with similar experiences trying to take this pill. This is why I felt this would be a better place to post than asktrp, I haven't found much on this topic here either. Note these are not only my experiences but my experiences about people I've deeply talked to and studied who have gone through extreme physical child abuse as well.

Worthlessness - TRP believes in being proud of being a man, being assertive, direct, and going and getting what you want in life imo. When you're always taught that your voice is irrelevant, and life is just about obliging and avoiding conflict as much as you can it becomes tough to do that. Any situation that involves a little bit of conflict, you'll let the other person win out of "niceness". Someone wants to sit where you're sitting claiming they deserve to sit there? You'll move. Any girl you talk to and you see another guy trying to talk to her? You'd leave. It's also really tough to make moves on girls because you were always taught to try your level best to not do anything out of the ordinary or anything "different".

Keeping frame - This one in a way ties back into the previous one. It's very hard not to compliment the heck out of girls you talk to and fail their stupid shit tests. It's the natural defense mechanism you're taught. Random one I can think of from a year ago, I have less lame examples but this is the first that came to mind so I'll cringe and post it: "So by saying that people who take the stairs all the time are nuts, you're saying I'm nuts?" "No of course not, I obviously didn't mean it like that but if you choose to take it out of context then there's nothing I can do but apologize." Yes this was an actual conversation that happened and randomly came to my head. Yes feel free to horizontally shake your head.

Oneitis - this is probably the toughest or second toughest one of them all. With the other ones I feel I am doing a decent job overcoming them when such life situations arise and I feel most people can with some conscious effort. This one however is just a decision the mind makes. With a lot of child abuse victims, since they missed out a lot on life, and a lot of parental connection, on a subconscious level they are always looking for a way to replace that. What better way than to go oneitis over a girl who gave you a signal and who you automatically bump up from a 8 to a 11? And it's next level oneitis. I'd rather not describe it because you're probably going to break your neck shaking your head. Again, not just my experience and more extreme than "normal oneitis". I know, it sounds like one of those "cold winters" or "big elephants" eh? I honestly can't find any way to make the regularity of this disease occurring decrease.

Not just swallowing the pill - I have come to terms with most red pill concepts. I whole heartedly agree with them, and about the nature of women. I factually know and understand the little that I do. The tough part however, is not just swallowing the pill. It's putting the pill in your mouth, savagely biting the heck out of it, feeling the terrible taste, spitting it out, chemically seperating the pieces of the pill and your saliva and snorting it up your nose. That's what's tough. I believe in redpill concepts and redpill ideology but actually endorsing them is a whole another story. In real life, sometimes your "natural instinct" or rewired self just takes over.

These are just my reflections and I tried covering the biggest issues. If you have any more to add and how you dealt with them, how you dealt with the ones listed, etc. feel free. I could have left out a couple big ones. I know this post is more or less focusing on interacting with girls, but if there's any other relevant feedback do share. I tried my best to limit the personal stuff and to keep it short but probably failed on both counts. I thought we should have a thread that can help child abuse victims with what they need to do to endorse the pill. I'm also not trying to play victim and I realize it may come across as that. I just see it as a card game. When you're dealt a shitty deck, you don't whine and cry and sulk, you accept that as your fate and you look at what you can do from there and get a good deck instead of just whining. So why would you do anything any different when it's a more important card game?