Im in my early 20s and I've known about the red pill for a while, I read the rational male and thought "these are principals I'm living my life by". But I did this with no introspection, no self work. Sure I hit the gym; but I just became a Beta in a buffer body.

Now after re-reading the rational male after some female attention on nights out and browsing this sub it's hit me. It's all hit me. I've now seen it happen first hand with my best friend (a women which is a ljbf friendship) after her going out purely to meet a guy she's hooked up with before. The next day she wanted me to come to hers to help her hangover after staying at his. I realised what a chump I was, this guy was eating the food and I was meant wash the plate and cook the next meal for him. How did I become this?

Then thinking more I've got a oneitis that has existed for YEARS, at this point my ex has been on my mind longer than we were together. We saw another recently by chance and since I've been plagued with these blue pill thoughts to text her and get a drink.

I know this has been rambling and this may not be the appropriate sub for this post. But I just wanted to thank those that are here, my eyes are open. But with this opening all I see is the red of anger, of wasted opportunities from being fixated on an ex and allowing myself to be so subservient in a ljbf friendship, it takes everything out of me not to yell and punch a hole through the wall.

I don't know how I'll get past this phase, but I'm so glad I'm here. I know the truth now, I see myself for what I am and I am fully committed to embracing the principles of the red pill. I'm planning on moving to a different state and starting over in a new city, hopefully new people and a new red pill mindset can give me the life I want.