Yesterday I was out at a lounge listening to this girl I know DJ, she's also a girl I'm interested in. I just like her, she's got a cool personality, she's a little edgy, she's artistic, etc. She also creates her own music.

Anyway, so I'm chilling with some of her friends and she's playing her DJ set. At one point in the set she throws on a song that is actually hers, I notice this right away and get the idea to have some fun with it.

So I get up out of my seat and walk over to her booth and say to her

"Wow, this song is really dope, who's the artist?"

Of course, I knew it was her song.

She laughed and said "It's mine."

I said "I know."

Then we both had a moment, because she knew I was just being silly and having fun.

After a few seconds I walked back over to the table with her friends.

So why do I write this?

Because what I did is an example of charm, being funny but also being friendly and making people feel good. That's what charm is.

I could have also went over and told her in a funny way that the song was bad and I wanted to know the artist because I hated it. Then when she gets mad, I say that I am just kidding.

That is NOT charming.

She does not feel good after that, a charming man makes a girl feel good which makes her feel comfortable around you.

Of course, one could argue that making fun of her is being a charming asshole and I disagree. In this case, you're just being a dick. You're telling her something that is close to her, something she's worked on is bad and even if you're kidding it's just not something you should joke about.

It's one thing to say to a girl that her shoes look silly.

But it's another to tell her that her art is bad, even if you're not being serious.

Imagine if you were told that something you worked hard on was bad?

It wouldn't feel good, even if it was a joke.

A charming man makes other feels GOOD, not BAD and he doesn't do it because he wants validation, he does it because he is a positive person and wants to bring others up.

Aka.

A leader.

This post is basically copied off my blog, where I post about a lot of different game related and social skills related stuff.

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