The Distraction Paradox within Pickup:

  1. In life it is common wisdom that if you want to succeed in something it requires intense focus. However, to succeed in pickup there is an interesting paradox that I have recently discovered which is that by doing the opposite of focusing on pickup, by distracting yourself with other pursuits, you actually end up succeeding more in pickup and becoming more desirable.

  2. When you have passions outside of pickup you have something to talk about on a date. Women don’t necessarily care what it is you are talking about, as long as you are passionate about it (and it is legal).

  3. When you are distracted, you spend less time texting. It is common wisdom in the pickup community that when it comes to texting, less is more. By keeping yourself busy, you don’t have a reason to text the woman. This forces the woman to text you, which in turn makes you look more attractive.

  4. When you have stuff going on in your life, your thirst for sex goes away. Your desperation is no longer there because you have other stuff to occupy your mind with. Women become secondary, and pursuing women just isn’t all that important anymore.

  5. Being distracted prevents oneitis from occuring. Oneitis is a terrible plague usually brought on by an obsession with a single women. But when you are distracted in your life you cannot afford to allocate so many resources to a single women, so you are no longer under the trap of oneitis.

  6. You become busy which in itself is attractive. We want to be with people who lead busy and interesting lives, not people who are available all the time and have nothing to do.

  7. You will be more selective on who you date. Now that I am almost completely distracted with school and my hobbies, I’ve stopped chasing women. Some numbers I got which were cold leads I didn’t waste my time or emotional energy on. I only focus on the few women who I will be successful with.

  8. Distraction cuts the amount of time wasted in pickup. I used to waste a lot of time in pickup, doing dozens of approaches without any results. Now I only do 1 or 2 approaches a day and within those few approaches I really commit myself to having a good outcome.

  9. Distraction ironically allows you to focus on the women that matter. You have limited time during the week. Therefore, you can only see one woman at a time. You have to be picky with who you choose to see.

  10. When you are distracted you stop ruminating and are less outcome dependent. When you have somewhere to go and something to do, there is no time to obsess over what you could have done better. You don’t care about the outcome because you are leading a rich and flourishing life.

Conclusion: Distract yourself with your hobbies, passions, and pursuits. Don’t worry that this will take away from your success in pickup. If anything, distraction will help you out.