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[–]j_arbuckle2012 37 points38 points39 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
This is feel-good PUA bullshit they use to sell products. It's neither helpful nor productive to circlejerk over advice like this. This is actually very blue-pill because it's solipsism. It goes from "hey you can be different, just do all these things!" Well, alright. But how do I do all of those things in my everyday life so I see real change? "I dunno, be confident!" Okay, so you're basically telling me that some magic amount of "confidence" or "dominance" will immediately make me go from zero-to-hero in a couple minutes? You sure you aren't walking around with a gash between your legs?
Real advice would look like this:
1. Be Fun
Guys who are fun, tend to attract more people. How do you become "fun?" Do things you're excited about doing. Don't get comfortable. Spend an hour and write down all the activities you do in a given week. Then the amount of hours (approx.) you spend doing them. Then rate 'em from 1-5 for how passionate you are about them, how fun they are, and how helpful they are to you and your state of being (physical and mental health, financials, resources, etc), in that order. Discard and replace 1 thing that scored low on all three areas. Then live another week, and review doing the same thing. Do that again and again until you've got a day to day that's fun and productive which you also care about.
2. Be Easy Going
This is a misnomer. Don't be easy going. Be non-reactive. Being easy going implies that you have few, if any, weak personal boundaries. Real men have strong boundaries they upkeep and enforce regularly. Furthermore, being non-reactive means you have a much better clarity and control over your emotional state. That's where the idea of "frame" comes from. How do you gain this emotional clarity? Meditation. Seriously, it's not really bandied around out here in TRP, but meditation works wonders. Meditation helps you see the reality of your existence, both internal and external. How do you start meditating? Read Mindfulness in Plain English and get started: 30 minutes a day, every day. Don't worry that you're not very good at it. Most people aren't, just do it and keep an open mind. Once you've gained a sense of emotional clarity, you will begin to see how your emotions dictate your actions and your reactions to things within and without. So simply put: the greater your emotional clarity/control, the more non-reactive you are, and the more "easy-going" people will think you are.
3. Be Dominant
The best definition I've ever heard for dominant men is: "dominant men dominate their lives." What the fuck does that mean? It means dominant men have large amounts of self-discipline. What is self-discipline? Self-discipline is a consistent, every day, forceful exertion of willpower with the intent and aim to improve oneself or one's lot in life. How do you gain self-discipline? Write down all of your flaws, no matter how large or small. Ask others (who know you well) to describe your flaws to you, and write those down too. Trust me, you're far more flawed then you'll ever care to admit so get others in on the action too. Pick one no matter how large or small, and work on it as per the definition above. For me, my flaw was my addiction to nicotine (smoked a pack a day for seven years). So the one thing I did was every morning when I would wake up and I'd get an urge to have a cigarette, I'd take a brutally cold shower and do 15 pushups, 15 situps, 15 squats and 15 horizontal rows instead. I hated it, and I still hate doing morning calisthenics but I don't feel that they're very hard to do now like they were when I first started. I just hop out of bed and do it and go about my day because I've gained that self-discipline to just do it through that consistent, every day, forceful exertion of willpower. Gaining self-discipline is NOT easy. You WILL fail, repeatedly. You will give it up and go back to it and give it up and go back ad nauseum. The most important thing is you keep trying. Self-discipline is built both when you successfully exert that willpower and when you fail and pick yourself back up to try again.
4. Leadership.
Fuck this. Fuck being a leader. Seriously. If you've followed any of the above advice, then you'll be living a life you chose for yourself that challenges you and you're happy with. Fuck being a leader. Lead your own life, and walk your own path. Some will follow you, some will walk beside you, and others will denounce you and everything you stand for. Fuck them, and fuck leadership. Real leaders step up to the plate because they've lived their lives with self-discipline, emotional clarity/control, and passion. Fuck leadership. I'll say it again: Fuck. Leadership. Live your life on your own terms.
EDIT: Wow! Someone gave me gold! Thank you! I didn't think this post would get that kind of attention. Also some spelling errors.
[–]toastInTheShell3 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I like your no BS approach. Inspiring.
[–]overrule -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
[–]Hormander 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Sorry, I thought it was /r/theredpill and not /r/seduction
BTW It's a bad post, because it says what you have to be but not says how to be it.
[–]Zebleblic -3 points-2 points-1 points 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Its all about confidence. All four points are just being confident.
[–]Hormander 11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Saying "be confident" doesn't teach anybody HOW to be confident.
[–]toastInTheShell1 point 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Telling someone to "be confident" is such pablum. Just regurgitated bullshit. I can't tell you how many times I reached out to friends and family as a youth to try to get advice, to makes sense of this thing called "love", only to have them blurt out "be confident".
WTF DOES THAT MEAN?
I'm convinced the phrase "be confident" is nothing more than a knee jerk response designed to end the discussion because nobody wants to be bothered with anyone else's relationship problems.
Sure, there is a kernel of truth to the phrase itself, like with any knee jerk response, but does no one any good because it's so bloody vague, but the advice giver gets to feel smug in their "wisdom" they just imparted onto the uninitiated because everyone accepts "be confident" as truth.
[–]Zebleblic -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Be yourself, try to be a better person every day, and don't give a fuck what others say. Enjoy your life and your good vibe will rub off on others. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, think of them as a learning opportunity. If you meet someone who is better than you at something, learn from their successes and failures.
[–]j_arbuckle2012 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That still doesn't tell us a fucking thing. How do you not give a fuck what someone else says when you've been programmed to do that exact thing all your life? Define "enjoying life," and how we can obtain such an elusive state. What mistakes are the correct ones? Where should we make those mistakes?
I'll concede your last point with a stipulation: how do we define success and failure if we're measuring it against someone else? Is the person we measure ourselves against even worth that sort of consideration?
These are the questions we want answered. Saying "be confident" is about as useful as saying "don't die" to someone in the middle of a firefight.
OP's post is bad and he should feel bad.
[–]Zebleblic -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Success is gaining new, skills, abilities, knowledge, success. Your goal is to become the best person you can be, not for others, but for yourself. This is all about you and no one else. Your desires, your dreams, and your urges. You don't worry about what others say or do. This is why you are a leader and not a sheep. Your energy drives others and you feed off of it. The better things are around you, the happier you become. The better you become, the more confident you become. If you know the right course of action and have the skills to accomplished it, you worry not and people follow you and want to be near you. You know what you want, are able to get it, and people can see this. This is why you hear everyone saying you need to study, work out, and keep your eyes open. You observe what works for others and what doesn't. If you are able to do this, you become that person you aspire to be.
You need to look in the mirror and ask yourself, what do I what to be, where do I want to fit in. Then you push yourself in that direction. Along the way you will meet other similar minded people who you can learn from. You will also meet women you are interested in and they will be interested in you too because of the person you are becoming.
[–]j_arbuckle2012 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This still doesn't tell me anything. How do I push myself? What do I do when I study and work out and have hobbies but people still don't seem to find me interesting? What do I do when I try something and it blows up in my face? How do I deal with rejection? How do I know what goals are useful to have and what goals are just ego dreams? Where's the quality control?
You say a lot about being the best person I can be but never define what that person is. You don't even define how to find the definition of what that "best person" is. This is just more feel good claptrap that doesn't accomplish anything.
[–]overrule -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I would start by trying to balance the positive aspects of an event with the negative. Critical thinking can be a bit of a curse if you only apply to see the negative aspect in things. OP spent a bit of time typing something up to help others and you can only call it useless? That's a bit unfair.
Nobody can tell you what kind of man you should be. What OP is doing is elaborating on some qualities the he thinks a "alpha" man should have. /r/seduction can only tell you so much.... You're the one the chooses what you find interesting or what's worth your time.
[–][deleted] -2 points-2 points-2 points 12 years ago | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]enticingasthatmaybe 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So you defend your bad post with classic shame language?
[–]16 MGaiusScaevolus 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only the PUAvatar could master all four elements, and bring balance to the sexes...
[–]wasabiversace 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This sounds like an excerpt from a PUA forum post. Sure this is OC? Forgot to add - good post.
[–][deleted] -8 points-8 points-8 points 12 years ago | Copy Link
[–]Zebleblic 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And this is why you are dominated.
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[–]j_arbuckle2012 37 points38 points39 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]toastInTheShell3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]overrule -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hormander 9 points10 points11 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zebleblic -3 points-2 points-1 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hormander 11 points12 points13 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]toastInTheShell1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Zebleblic -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]j_arbuckle2012 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zebleblic -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]j_arbuckle2012 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]overrule -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -2 points-2 points-2 points | Copy Link
[–]enticingasthatmaybe 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]16 MGaiusScaevolus 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wasabiversace 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -8 points-8 points-8 points | Copy Link
[–]Zebleblic 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link