Talking with a friend last night discussing our own opinions and RP theories, we talked about — 'want' versus 'need'. This conversation helped me better understand the semantics behind 'wanting' versus 'needing' and that previously I was using each word as one in the same but each word is truly different. The conversation was interesting because it led to a small personal moment of clarity, a theory that I would like to share and get everyone's insight on.

The theory is that better personal understanding of your personal 'needs' and personal 'desires (want)' will lead to a personal balance, a stronger frame, and also less stress from placing difficult external or personal expectations on people or objects.

I am starting to believe this is a good place to build the foundation of my frame. This will help me better establish what I want and what I need in life. Because ultimately — I need things to survive but I want things to reward myself and improve the quality around me.

For the longest time I have been a guy that believed that I 'needed' specific things to be happy. I needed a better job, a better car, a nicer house, the newest gadgets, a woman who respects and desires me, and the list goes on. Then I started by questioning — do I really need this stuff to be happy in order to have a fulfilled life? I realized I only NEED the basics to survive and if I'm surviving then I should be happy. Things like oxygen, food, shelter, means of travel, sunlight, family & friends (deeper connections) are the things you need to be happy. If I have these things then at the basic level I should be satisfied because I have more then some people may ever obtain in their entire life. With that said — I desire better quality things to improve the quality of things in my life. Things like cars, clothes, or flat screen leds because we live in a world where we visually define our success through our portrayed 'brand'. I don't need people to validate me or my success, I buy these shoes because these shoes to me are what I deem quality — it as a personal symbol to myself — I worked hard so I am going to buy myself these things as a reward.

After separating what I needed from what I wanted/desired I noticed a few things.

I need safe shelter but I desire/want a home with enough rooms to entertain guests and live comfortably. I need food but I want healthy clean organic options and long lasting cookware/appliances. Lastly, I ultimately need a woman to establish a trusting relationship and start a traditional family. But what do I want out of that relationship? What will make me happy or improve the quality of that relationship? Right now in the short term I don't really need a woman to be my wife, but in the back of my mind I should have a test to see if the women I am interacting with are worthy of such a position at my side. Then I can start removing plates and focus on that LTR.

I realized that in the present I want/desire the attention, interaction, affection, and sexual desire of women. I want to find the best woman with the best traits that I deem attractive. I want a woman whom is addicted to me and whom I'm addicted to. I want to enjoy their company. I want to enjoy what they bring to the relationship. But I don't specifically need that person. I can find those things in any woman on the street. I will be honest and straight forward about what I want from them — what I expect from them to fulfill my desires. If they can meet my expectations then I do what is right and reward them by meeting their expectations that I deem align with what I want in life. If these things don't work out then I don't need fretting about this one person because that relationship would have never met the quality or standards that I wanted and I would have been unhappy.

I am already seeing how my frame of mind is strengthening because now it's not just about fucking a chick and getting her to like me. Now I see how she has to fit my bill so that I will be happy. She has to live up to my standards and I have to show her that my standards surpass her expectations — show her that I'm the one on the pedestal. I'm not throwing what I want under a bus because she has a pussy. I need to be open and honest about my desires and what I want in order to get what I want and to feel completely fulfilled.

This want and need thing can be applied to anything. Going to an interview. Do you need this job or do you want this job? If you go in talking about need you look desperate, you're acting desperate, and you aren't hitting attractive talking points if you were to do the opposite and go into the interview with a wanting frame of mind. I want to work at a place like this — do you provide this? Do you meet my bill because I have these talents that I want to share with you.

Think about it when you are meeting a woman. If you are talking to them and you're in a frame of mind that is based off needing sex from her or needing anything it is that 'oneitis' mentality. It is putting her on a pedestal. If you want her, you find her attractive, you are pulling her into your desires. You have the position of power. I want her. I don't need her.

What do you all think? I might not be talking about anything new but this revelation was new to me and I wanted to share it with the noobz and the philosophers that frequent this sub.