I have been single for 2 months.

I semi-swallowed the pill some time last year. I read and understood it but chose to ignore or not believe cherry picked ideals since I thought I was a know it all. Ideals like all women lie (not MY angel), and Increasing attraction (I did and still do have many beta tendencies).

She was my SO for ~3 years, there is no anniversary date, it naturally progressed from fucking each other and still being open, to being exclusive to official boyfriend/girlfriend (This was before TRP). Both our SMV was relatively low but I began working on it (got a stable job, driver’s license, etc.) small things that only served to increase my attractiveness.

About halfway through this LTR I found /r/TheRedPill; I tried to prune TRP to suit what I wanted, I wanted to be the alpha without changing my attitude. I just wanted her to see me as alpha without doing any of the hard work of becoming alpha. A purple pill arrangement in a sense. I would act dominate and uncontrolled in order to increase her attraction but I would still be controlled at a base level by not having an abundance mentality or being willing to leave. I would just end up looking insecure and lowering my SMV in her eyes.

I refused to believe she had the capability of lying to me. This is a woman I've known for at least 6 years, I would trust what she would say almost blindly, I mean, what reason did she have to lie to me? There was lots of minor trickle truths and withholding details.

Before me and after her last LTR she had a fling with a guy. We were chatting about our sexual past. Obviously she fucked her first boyfriend, but she said that she only kissed the fling once but didn't go any further. I sounded odd to me but believed her. Though out the relationship, I learned small trickle truths of that fling such as they actually kissed more than once. It’s insignificant but I learned a lot from that, if in anyway it benefits a woman to lie, she will.

Near the end of the 3 year relationship I would notice her checking out other guys, and she would name drop her new boss constantly. I tried what little red pill knowledge fit into my spectrum which didn't work or made her even less attracted to me. I didn't see it as my fault. This is how women show they're not attracted to you anymore. I knew she felt attracted to other men, but felt helpless to change it. I was too lazy to work out or earn more money and not ballsy enough to flirt with other women.

I learned AWALT. TRP is right. Since breaking up I have reread the side bar and I am able to objectively compare examples to this LTR.

I have started weight training and I am looking for a new job. I am learning game and have had sex with another girl. I now realize that to get the intended results of TRP I have to completely swallow the red pill.