Hi, I'm a woman. I know that RedPillWomen encourages women to give advice to other women and for men to give advice to other men, but I like to introspect so here I am posting anyway.

I've had both flings and long term relationships. Now I'm engaged! :) Besides loving almost everything about my man and just being completely head over heels, I think I've noticed some specific red pill things he does that keep me intrigued.

-He isn't as affectionate as me. He doesn't always respond when I tell him I love him, doesn't kiss me quite as much as I kiss him, etc. I'd definitely get upset if he wasn't affectionate enough, but on the flipside I know I'd get bored if he was equally as affectionate as me. I had a boyfriend in the past who was extremely affectionate. It made me feel too secure in the relationship. I felt as though I didn't have to try anymore because he was so crazy about me. I ended up cheating on him with a guy who was more of a challenge. (Yeah, not my proudest moment. Probably the shittiest thing I've ever done.) Anyway, my fiancé being less affectionate than me makes me feel like I can't completely let myself go, which I think is a really good thing. I want to look attractive for him and please him.

-He's always working hard to improve his work/financial situation. My man isn't the hottest guy in the entire world. He's handsome, and I'm very attracted to him, but you know. Understanding female biology though, I think the reason I don't care so much about his physique is that he really is constantly improving. Every time he has a performance review at work, he either gets a raise or a promotion. He doesn't have any debt. He's an artist and has some promising leads that could make us rich in the future. I like to think I don't care about money, but when I try to be honest with myself, there's no denying that I'm attracted to his success, as well as the possibility of even more success in the future. I would love to be a homemaker and have a lot of kids, and if he made a lot of money that would be a possibility.

-He listens when I bring up a legitimate concern (like when I was concerned about how much he was drinking, and then he cut down like it was nothing... sexy amount of self-control), but is firm with me if I'm just nagging. Women need to feel like they're being listened to (I broke up with one past boyfriend because I felt like he wasn't interested in what I had to say), but if a man's a pushover it's really unattractive. If a woman always gets what she wants, she's bored.

-He has female friends. I can't help but feel a little bit of jealousy that, again, makes me want to be attractive for him and please him.

Now I'm a romantic, and I'm going to stay with my man for my whole life. Yes, even though women are naturally hypergamous, they can have self-control and be deeply in love! But these are some things that initially attracted me to him and keep me attracted. Just because you're with someone after a long time doesn't mean you still have physical chemistry... But he still drives me crazy!