Hey guys,

I have a LTR for almost a year, very attractive girl, blonde, thin waist and nice ass. I'm and I always was very sexually attracted to her, that's no doubt.

However, she was my 2nd girl and the first LTR that i'm having regular sex. The problem is, in the first 5-6 months I barely sustained an erection. I'm an introvert, shy type guy, but not a loser type, with high self-esteem, a good social circle, respected, that's why I ended up with her in the first place.

On our first night I couldn't get an erection and I got panicked. The next 5-6 months were a hell, my self-esteem was 0, I was close to get into a depression. I've tried lots of things, but without viagra and other similar drugs, I couldn't maintain it up. On foreplay it was hard, but when putting the condom or before penetration it goes soft. I was always nervous before sex, I was afraid to no happen again almost all the time. But the most I was afraid that this girl who showed she loves me will leave me(or cheat), even she tried to not show that's affected by it.

Finally, I started to relax and things started to work ok. In the last 2-3 months everything was awesome sexually(for me at least), even I had little problems before the penetration or in new places.

1 week ago I found TRP, just after we got in a big fight that almost broke us. It was awesome, I realized how beta I was with her....but I assume that mostly was because my low self esteem and being afraid to not lose her to a stud who will fuck the shit out of her and I couldn't.

I started acted more confident, more aloof, passing her shit tests and so on. Suddenly she changed, she started chasing me, calling me first, she felt a lot more attracted to me and tried to validate. I was feeling like an alpha...you don't know how much I thanked this subreddit for taking the Red Pill.

However, when we met today, she was very flirty and started to initiate sex(in the last months, after things turned well sexually, she initiated sex very few times...which is strange, it should be otherwise). I wanted to keep that alpha state that she obviously enjoyed and fuck her hard. But....SHIT, I couldn't get an erection, AGAIN. She was horny, she wanted it, I tried everything...nothing, I got nervous again. She started being mad that I haven't fucked hard......AFTER that, she started calling my "unusual behavior", how I changed, how I don't care about her anymore and all that shit. BUT, if the things would work as she wanted, she would have been very happy and the "unusual behavior" wouldn't be brought up.

My idea is that she expected to be the alpha I showed to her and enjoyed...and when I broke that state, she got mad and blame my alpha behavior as inappropriate.

So guys, firstly I don't understand why the erection thing started again, I assume that since I acted alpha and she expected to act alpha, I had performance anxiety as I wanted very bad to prove to her how alpha I am...which fucked things up. What do you think?

And second, how the fuck I should react from now. She started to think again that she controls the relationship, she's cold and stuff like this. Should I continue the alpha "mode" with her or cool out a bit until I resolve the ED problem.

Thanks