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[–]forcevacum 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
You entered her frame when she asked you to pay for dinner. You have a lot to learn, read everything on the sidebar. And keep practising
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I did and she got a free meal. More, so I gave up my workout time for her and I'm regretting it. I usually don't do that unless it is my kids.
[–]RPmatrix 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
More, so I gave up my workout time for her and I'm regretting it
And now you've learned a valuable lesson
Never let a women 'take' control from you! --- although you gave it up. Don't do that either.
Had you told her "no, I have other plans" , if she's interested in you (and it sounds like she is) she'll work harder the next time you do ask her out
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes, you are right. Baby Steps. Somewhere I read that, men age as wine and women age as milk. I could see that in person. During the dinner, she was saying things that made me think, I have time on my side and that made me chuckle. I own my home in a decent neighborhood. I have been lifting and bulking up and I am gaining confidence by day. Every failure or misstep I encounter, it takes me towards higher self-awareness.
[–]RPmatrix 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you're going to be just fine bro, enjoy
[–]Kolantah 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This. OP, the fact that she LEFT you inside to pay, that you FOLLOWED her, that you answered positive to HER change of mind, that you accepted HER suggestion to smoke weed at yours despite you saying you were not smoking... These should all make an alarm ring in your head that she LED the interaction, that it was all in HER frame. My guess would be you let that frame in her control straight from the beggining of your coffee date. Learn to recognise WHO is controlling the frame, and learn to be the one to control it
[–]FrootPicker 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
OP didn't say she made him pay for dinner. Only that he paid for coffee after she left the venue.
[–]NietzscheExplosion 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Obviously he paid for dinner too, He should have said: sure I was going to have Chicken Parmesan tonight, at home and have it prepped n ready to cook at home, would you like to join me for that?
Then took her WAY farther on a first date than she every went before (Yeah right...).
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You should read more on how to deal with LRM for next time.
You can try again. Call her by giving her a non sexual excuse so that you won't trigger her ASD, and then deal with the LMR correctly this time.
Read this comment to understand how ASD/LMR works https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/the-4-date-misrule/#comment-367144
[–]FrootPicker 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Doesn't sound like LMR to me. He wasn't even close to sex.
I'd even rule out ASD, it was just touching.
Frame should be "I just like to touch you, and that's fucking normal between man and woman."
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She said, what's going on? You are moving too fast
She said that in the fuck-location(for lack of a better word) while he was trying to close. In hamsterese this is: "I am here to fuck you, make me feel good about it." This is as obvious LMR as it gets, you don't need to pull your dick out to have LMR.
Yes, that's what him escalating sets as a frame. However, when you keep saying that, when she says that she is uncomfortable, says you have no calibration.
Read the link I posted in the previous comment, it's gold.
I've had a hard time understanding your post, especially who said what, but I'll reply anyway.
Your kino seems to have been good. Problem is you talked too much and ejected too early by telling her to leave.
Don't next her -- from what I gather you fucked up royally, not her. The good news is that you left her with the impression that you have frame by ending the date before she did. This girl seems DTF for you. So instead wait for her to contact you for a couple of days. If she doesn't do that then contact her, suggesting another hangout at yours or hers and prepare properly. You can just say "I'd like to try some more weed" if you like.
Good luck, buddy.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are right. I did talk too much. Also, on self-reflection side, I was in a dry spell for a quite sometime, so internally, my judgement was clouded a bit when she wanted to come to my place. I was kinda excited to slay the pussy on first date and I could see not being myself a bit.
[–]MGHOW_ATL 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being available for dinner on princess' command. Even though you were free, she needed to squirm a little. She made it clear that you are not her Chad when she gave you song and dance about going slow.
[–]Koalasonfire 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Asks about dinner, say you have to workout, make plans for another day.
I was running through that conversation in my mind this morning. Next time, there is plenty of fish in the sea, brother. And I'm not so crazy about this one!
[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As others pointed out, you had no control of the situation. You saying the whole"because I wanted to" was your tiny attempt to get out of her frame and it failed
She knew what she was doing, she had attraction to you but it sounds like she controlled your day. Always be busy and squeeze a girl in every now and then
[–]ModRedSovereign[M] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
/r/AskTRP
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
coffee date
No more coffee dates
Older than me
Date younger women
I have never smoked weed
Making a decision like this to hang with a woman is no good. Smoke weed on your terms, not to impress some bitch
I said, I felt like doing it, so I went for it.
Don't explain yourself to her.
should I try again?
If she messages you, try again. If not, find a new one
The problem with younger women, I find them boring. I have dated 18 year olds to 27. I find them entitled bitches. That is generally speaking. The thing with older women, I find is ,we are already over the basic level of game and bullshhitting and ready for talk that matter.
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[–]forcevacum 6 points7 points8 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RPmatrix 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RPmatrix 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kolantah 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FrootPicker 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NietzscheExplosion 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FrootPicker 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FrootPicker 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MGHOW_ATL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Koalasonfire 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModRedSovereign[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link