My highschool sweetheart who I have two kids with, 8, and 4. Recently filed for divorce. We've been seperated now for six months. Since filing she has, 3 times pretended to want me back, fucked me, then turned around to treat me like shit the very next day.

She's always been a very sexual girl. Very eager to please and willing to do anything. It's probably what kept me with her for so long. But as I'm sure many of you can guess by her sexual appetite she is completely batshit crazy. Fuck rationalization hamster. She has a rationalization cheetah. She gave my son who was 4 at the time a lit cigarette, told him to put it in his mouth and blow. Her justification for this was "well he told me he wanted to make the smoke come out".

We haven't spoken for about a week until today. I pick my son up and he starts telling me about an argument he got into with her in which she called him a jack ass. He is 8 years old. I think it's a bit much. So I call her and she's minimizing the whole thing then starts turning it all back around on me and why I'm such a shitty person and I'm so disrespectful and mean. Basically like every other argument we've ever had, everything is my fault.

So my question is, why do I still care? Why do her words still affect me? How come I'm laying here in bed and all I can think about is some other guy plowing her? Why does it kill me to think she's happy?