Where we are...

TheLaughingMelon · 2020-04-24T04:34:36+00:00

Why complicate life when you can live simply and freely without being burdened by society?

Good thing more and more men are realising this.

Freelance_Sector · 2020-04-24T03:56:11+00:00

Also, please comment with where you are, what you're learning/enjoying, etc. If you'd like. Love to hear positive gains and the"places" where the rest of the good men are in their journeys.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-04-24T12:27:05+00:00

I finished up a major project at a pretty intense worksite just as my region went into full lockdown. I'm one of those fortunate souls who is getting paid to stay home, and I have the benefit of a robust savings account. I can sustain my current lifestyle for six months or tighten my belt and last for about a year.

When I finally made it home I spent a couple of weeks just decompressing. I don't normally get that kind of time between jobs. Usually, it's a long weekend, back in the office, then off to another job site. I've truly taken advantage of this downtime.

At one time or another we've all said, "If I only had more time, I would...," during my decompression phase I kept myself busy by working on a couple of low key hobbies. I like to build jigsaw puzzles, glue, and frame them. Most get donated to children's charities and special needs communities. I keep a few for myself in rotation on my walls. Don't judge, I find it cathartic and it gives me a short-term goal to focus on. And, it gave me the time and clarity of mind to come up with a long-term quaran-routine so I can fully take advantage of my time.

I'm slowly restoring a '67 Camaro. There are a lot of little projects I want to get done so I ordered a couple of kits to do some interior restoration. As soon as the weather is agreeable I'll be spending afternoons in my garage.

I read every morning. I don't have a timeline, no agenda. I just read. I have some old magazines, library books, and books I've picked up along the way I haven't gotten around to yet. I'm finally catching up.

I exercise every day. I don't have a home gym, but I can do the basics. Calisthenics are always on the menu after I read and I go cycling on good weather days. I shop for food every few days, I buy enough for 8 - 10 servings so I can meal prep and not get sick of it. I order take-out once a week from different local businesses just to break up the routine.

I spend the second half of my day practicing guitar, I watch an episode of a show on Netflix, and wind down with some video games.

It's been pretty amazing so far. No responsibility, no place to be, my body and soul are perfectly at ease. This couldn't have come at a better time for me.

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2020-04-24T13:40:54+00:00

At the moment, I am with my children and spending a lot of quality time with them. On the weekends, we drive north to work on a second house I bought in the country that needs renovation. I teach them skills they would never get another way - in addition they are learning teamwork, persistence, figuring out how to solve problems on their own, using an ATV for work AND fun, the value of manual labor, and a good old fashioned work ethic.

I too appreciate a glass of red wine now and then, but bourbon is my poison these says - in moderation of course.

Their mother is completely out of the picture and has been for a number of years now. So bedtime is when it is - no arguments. And when they do push back, I give them an extra half hour. And they are super happy for it! Nothing like getting a huge hug from your little kids who are ecstatic about going to bed at 9:30 instead of 9:00 because they earned it. (the best things in life truly are free!)

Homework and chores get done without yelling or nagging (but I would be lying if I said I didn't have to remind them most of the time). They do their parts and rarely complain - especially as they get older. Work is steady and solid. Bills are paid, debt it is to a minimum, and the house is in order. Everything is fixed when I say it gets fixed, and so everything is fixed!

My work puts me in touch with a LOT of people on a daily basis, so I get all the social interaction I could ever want or need. I am blessed with great friends, although it is not easy to hang with them as often as I would like. I am in a long term relationship right now, but we do not live together and never will. I get what I need from her and she keeps coming back for some reason - and it has been a few years now. I almost feel guilty, but not really.

In summary, these days life is sheer perfection for me. As much of it has to do with mindset than any of the details that make it up, but either way it is a good time. I also keep in mind that life has a way of throwing wrenches into the mix to rattle your cage (or blow it the fuck up, as has happened to me a few times). So these days I also spend time on backup plans and contingencies.

Most important than any of this, however, is one simple thought:

There are about 2-3 nights a month when I feel truly lonely. I miss having a wife in bed to talk to and dream with and to share, and achieve, and hope, and love, and all that comes with a good marriage. Sure my girl comes 2-3 nights a week to sleep over, but I know this won't last. So the loneliness can be just as bad when she is here. BUT...

When that feeling comes, I let it wash over me like a stubbed toe.

If I stub my toe when no one is around, I will curse like a Marine, yell, and hop around cursing the universe. Then I get over it. If others are around, I hold it in and walk away, knowing the pain will slowly subside in a minute or two. But I keep that shit to myself (because of my toxic masculinity of course).

And I will GLADLY take those tough 20-30 minutes 2-3 times a month over the random 2-20 entire days and nights a month (or more) of experiencing the downsides of marriage and LTR's: Disagreements about things that should be simple, foolish power struggles, bad attitudes, and dealing with the consequences of another person's decisions (big and small). It is a horrible feeling to know you are completely vulnerable to the whims of another person who could ruin both of your lives with the snap of a finger - just because "I feel like it". And this is with the full support and encouragement of our entire society - including the female members of our own families.

Those are feelings I refuse to ever EVER have a gain. Never again. NEVER.

So these days, I enjoy life's amazing richness. No matter how humble it may be, life is amazing when you step back to take it in, just like you expressed /u/Freelance_Sector. There is music, nature, solitude, peace, quiet, financial security, peace of mind, friends, good food, and an occasional drink. These are all good things, and they can be taken away in the blink of an eye if you allow 2-3 hours a month to cloud your judgment.

Let me add that I realize that I am expressing my life THESE DAYS. Leading up to my divorce, it was WAY WAY worse than this. It was miserable 24x7 for a very long time. It took a few years for things to settle down for me. So I do not want to seem dismissive of men who are consumed with bad feelings, and those who have no sex at all (which also helps, if we're being honest). But if I got past that place, so can most men.

And this all leads to, what is perhaps one of the biggest of life's lessons for the average man:

Never let your short-term feelings dictate your long-term decisions.

With that in mind my brothers, I welcome you to sit back for a few and get into the frame of mind I am currently experiencing. I give you Zak Brown.

Yeah, it's country MOFO! Don't judge, just frikken listen!

R1cky_Spanish · 2020-04-24T04:44:58+00:00

This is a beautiful reminder for times like this when I miss people and my mind wants to trick me into thinking I miss the wrong people. Life is very very good.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2020-04-25T19:08:18+00:00

I have to admit, I'm a bit envious of those of you who are "stuck" at home. I have a ton of household projects I need to take care of, as well as a lot of reading to catch up on.

However, not only was I deemed essential, but the overtime has really kicked in. Today is the first Saturday I've taken off in a very long time, and I slept 13 hours last night. I've been burning my candle at both ends for the past few years, and right now the only differences are that my night school has no classes until further notice, and traffic isn't nearly as bad as usual.

It's good, though. It's work I enjoy, with a good bit of variety, and I'm finally coming into my own after learning a skilled trade for the past few years. I'm also getting major points with the people in charge, because I'm still coming to work every day (today was optional), rather than asking for a furlough or a layoff.

My wife is appreciative too, unlike in years past. The fact that I fall asleep in my chair before finishing supper most nights I think gets through to her just how exhausted I am, and I don't complain or whine like most people out there.

As much as I'd like some time at home, this journey is interesting too, with its own rewards. We're paying off a lot of bad decisions (including the IRS), and getting some money set aside.

So while I might envy those of you at home a bit, I'm also grateful for what I have: a great job with great pay, and a wife who for all our problems over the years is still a good woman (yes, they exist). Today, we have a few projects we'll be working on, but this weekend will be mostly about quality time together.

And then back to work!

Diogenes-- · 2020-04-27T23:52:19+00:00

I've spent the past few years lifting weights like a maniac. Started with a 5x5 to get back into the groove after years without lifting. Worked my way up to ~7 hours a week with a 531.

The diet is in accordance with the lifting, IOW I eat like a feral pig. Mostly healthy food, but it doesn't matter, throwing junk food in my body at this point is like throwing a few drops of water in a hot cast iron pan. My body just laughs and burns it all off.

As a result I'm really swole. Half of it is just the sheer amount of muscle I have on me, compared to someone doing 1/4 the lifting with a 5x5, the other half is how ridiculously pumped my muscles are 24/7 from the constant lifting. It makes my muscles look even bigger than they are. I've been asked 'The Question' (steroids) =P I've never touched them but it's a high compliment to be asked.

The looks, and occasionally touching, I get from women is insane. I ignore them, I'm happily stage 4 MGTOW and want nothing to do with them. They're all gold-digging sluts who think I should feel blessed to be lucky #700 to fuck them lol. God it's just so gross even thinking about it. But it's nice knowing that they probably go about the rest of their day mad that the swole guy they were eyeballing didn't give them the time of day. Probably go home and cry to their cats =P

thestructuralguy · 2020-05-01T20:53:07+00:00

Working from home. Really opened up a lot of my time. I can simultaneously work on other things while being online for work. Recently started my own business on the side. Exercising regularly at home (push-ups and sit ups). Saving a lot of money (close to 80% of my salary) as I can no longer go to restaurants or the movies ( now I understand how much I don't really need those things). I'm staying with my mum since she's all alone and I thought of being with the only woman who would ever truly love me during this time of crisis. I was going to date this girl before the quarantine, however this crisis showed me her worst. So I cut her out and now I'm enjoying a peaceful life.

Freelance_Sector · 2020-05-25T17:32:12+00:00

Second theatrical release is completed (pre- Covid) working on the next one!

HornsOfApathy · 2020-04-24T05:38:10+00:00

Just finished spanking the shit out of my woman after she begged me to cum in her ass after enjoying a home cooked meal and playing rocket league with my kids.

Before that I lifted heavy things to exhaustion and my chest is sore in a great way, but my woman rubs it constantly "to make it feel better".

I don't check in for shit, make my own decisions, she put the steak out at least 30 minutes beforehand for me, remembers my favorite scotch, and asked permission for all of it.

Now I'm enjoying a good cigar and a decent scotch on the porch.

Hard to put a price on that.

Title	Where we are...
Author	Freelance_Sector
Upvotes	96
Comments	46
Date	April 24, 2020 3:47 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre/comments/g71cbc/where_we_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre/where-we-are.654961 https://theredarchive.com/post/654961

Comments

When that feeling comes, I let it wash over me like a stubbed toe.

Never let your short-term feelings dictate your long-term decisions.