Ch...ch...ch...chyNA!

Damn, I haven't seen you in like, what, 15 years?

You STILL look 20

Yes I'm 20

Uh, that was just a figure of speech.

I know

Wait...what the...

Never mind. Anyway, what are you doing with yourself these days?

I look

Look? At what?

Never mind. Please don't answer that.

I am digging that rapper pose, do you have a rapper name?

12 mom

Nice! Like 2chainz. You will have to tell me what that means later. Mine is "Deeply Disturbed 1". Yeah, I know. Pretty based when you read between the lines.

Who are those girls with you? Your posse?

To and 3

Oh, so like a Dr. Seuss Thing?

By the way, you spell like a 6 yeer old?

year old

BITCH! Don't start correcting MY spelling. That was a typo and you know it!

Anyway, you didn't ask, bu I am doing well. I have a great career, money, house, financial situation better than ever, rocking the single dad life, and my love life is about as perfect as it gets. Been dating this much younger woman for the past 5 years and so far it's been awesome.

My pimp hand is strong I guess! lol.

Boy

You never did have sense of humor...

So what about you?

All I do is work and sleep

Sounds lame. Is that ALL you do?

I also suck

Hey now! What are you doing later?

JK. Tell me more - what do you suck?

at replying

Oh. HA! Good one. I underestimated you. Clever comeback.

Look, let's get some drinks later.

Message me for my number

But how can I message you if...

Never mind.

Damn. You really are DUMB.

Sum

What!?

What the hell is wrong with you ChyNA. You used to be so cool and easy going. Life has not been kind to you I guess.

If you can't handle me when I'm drunk then you don't deserve me sober

Oh, so you're dunk! That explains a lot. Damn, I thought you were on drugs!

Well, it was nice to see you again. Good luck with your life. Tell those two chicks behind you that I am 6 feet tall, my dick is over 6 inches, and I make 6 figures. Better yet, just tell them I am 666, they will understand.

Thanks to /u/asdf333aza for the original.