So, I(21f) have been iceing out this one guy, because I refuse to do back and forth or ask for attention. He knows this and has been putting on a strong effort to show he’s worth being in a relationship with. His personal and professional life are very successful, he has good manners, values, and shows and verbalize often how much he cares about how how much he sees in me. My biggest issues and standards he’s reached or adapted to and offered to work to reach them(I.e. work for my family to like him, learn aspects of my religion, etc). The only draw back ........is his job. He went to a top school has a very impressive rewarding job, but works himself to death. Long hours barely any days off and gets called in when he’s off at a days notice(I know it’s not cheating or someone else I’ve seen proof it’s actually work).

I’m rambling so the real issue, that’s making me feel a bit crazy is, I understand everyone deserves time apart from each other and to be with friends and family. I have no issue with that and think it’s healthy but it’s getting on my nerves that every times when it’s over he tells me “I wish you could’ve been here” or in one case he got sick and missed Halloween and the response was “ we would’ve had such a good time”. We had no Halloween plans! I did not want to spend the holidays with his family Bc it’s wayy to early for that and I haven’t met them and don’t feel comfortable with that yet. But what is with this after the fact acknowledgement? Is it really an issue? I most likely I would have said no to pretty much all of these events if asked. And we made plans for after Christmas so it’s not as if we don’t make plans or do anything