This maybe more like a rant but I have recently gotten used to this mindset, that any relationship has the potential to just end and you can say it is a coping mechanism for me. The way I think is that I will end up probably with one less valuable connection , yes but with much less disappointment and pain. To me this mindset does seem healthy, however, it has recently made me invest(energetically &physically) so little in others. Like I don’t see the point in doing so. I have invested a-lot in people in the past only to get hurt and I see around me that people who do the bare minimum end up reigning in the most control in any relationship.

I am currently not seeing anyone but I think sometimes what will happen if I do meet someone? What will happen If I have the same mindset? Will I invest so little and end up pushing that person away? Should I expect that person to keep making effort until they get tired? Should they get tired or keep making that effort? Is it better to be this pessimistic?Wouldn’t this keep me from developing something more serious (emotionally)with that person?

Pretty much what I see on FDS is that we are the prize and that we don’t play mind games either its a yes or no it’s not couldaa shouldaa wouldaa. Should I keep the mindset that a man should go through the bar I set to get me? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes even in platonic friendship we don’t make an effort of that kind to keep things going, if it ends then we accept it then how should I expect a man to literally do that, like it seems impossible to me that anyone will keep up with my shit let alone any man.

If you see my post history, it’s mostly to do with the breakup that happened 6 months ago sure it hurt me but it was also a very valuable lesson for me. An awakening. This mindset isn’t necessarily because I am hurting. No. I am healing and I am actively trying to learn from the past. Now to end this, I have to say this thinking isn’t of my own. My ex was a so called pragmatic person who had this mindset that our relationship has potential to fail ( and this was during the good times) and I used to get so offended and tell him okay so you wouldn’t fight for this, you literally don’t see a future with me etc and now I see his point(I am in no way glorifying him)

I would love to hear what opinions you all have to offer. This sub has made me see so much clearer and I am forever grateful to have come across it.