I found FDS in 2020 and I've been very actively reading the posts, comments and I've obviously read the Handbook + other recommended texts. I particularly liked Attached because it gave me a clear idea of why I do certain things and how to avoid/handle situations. Most of all, I got a reality check about behaviour that is considered normal (sometimes celebrated) is actually detrimental to our self-esteem and prevents us from being our best selves. I still have a few questions though.

I am 23 now and I've always liked kids (I'm studying to be a pediatrician), want my own someday and well, I didn't want to do it alone. Obviously, I'm not going to have kids unless I can fully support them financially + emotionally. But I still want to do it with a partner. The more I read however, and the more I observe the men around me, ugh I don't think they'd fit in to the life I want. So, what do you guys do? Wait for a deserving man or just go ahead have kids on your own? (Like, adoption or sperm banks)

Then there's the thing about dating. I work hard during the week and usually just hang out with friends or do some hobbies on the weekends. But I'd like to go out on dates/chill at home or idk, just the occasional romantic situation? Except, every time I do consider going out with someone I just get tired like eh, too much vetting to do plus I honestly have not met a single HVM here. It feels like too much effort and waste of time to invest in a man I know I'm not going to continue dating for a while. This question is for those who have stopped dating, how do you deal with the absence of romantic love?

The third and last: I was a hopeless romantic before, and now I'm more sensible but I do miss the flutters sometimes. Is it a pickme thought to hope for a nice, happy peaceful relationship? I'm doing everything else the Handbook suggests but gosh, it's hard to give up on something you've wanted for a long time.

Sorry for all the rambling, feel free to totally call me out lol, 'cause this sub has been an eye-opener and I had a huge blind spot.