Hey guys, I'm a 18 year old guy who's still a virgin. Till my 14 I never used to go out and almost had no friends (just a few beta guys with whom I went to elementary school and we were basically a bunch of nerds). I have always been a shy guy who had no social life and couldn't even say "hello" to a girl.

  • At the age of 14 I started Calisthenics and weight lifting. Now I can tell I have an aesthetic physique (72kgx5'10/178cm/low bf) and probably on top 1% of the population. I started lifting watching motivational youtube videos and I can't remember how, but I had all the determination to start training 3 times a week with constancy and also started dieting. At the age of 15, I was liked by some "ugly" girls in my class and in my life I've always had been attracted to a few girls (cause I need to say, I'm also porn dependent, and I guess that the excessive masturbation to pornography has made me subconsciously increase my standard for girl's aesthetics, so this is probably the reason why I found so few girls really attractive). Also I said I've always had a small social circle and I had never the chance to meet new girls cause of my beta friends who never were thinking about pussy, while I was, and still am, FUCKING OBSESSED, probably of my high testosterone. So whenever I had the chance to meet new attractive girls I started approaching them. I have "gamed" over 15-20 girls (HB6+) and I NEVER GOT LAID. My first approaches (1-4) were some fucking beta approaches seriously. I've been chatting with a girl for over one month without even built attraction, just comfort, so I got obviously friendzoned when I asked her to meet after one month.

  • One day, probably at the age of 15, after several oneitis I began kinda hungry and decided to start becoming an asshole. I started saying no, not putting the pussy on pedestal and improved my overall communication (both on verbal and non verbal language). I started being sort of over self-confindent, as I said I've got a great physique and I can tell it raised my self esteem but also my ego. I kinda became a dick. I'm still unable to calibrate push-pull correctly, sometimes I'm too kind and sometimes I'm a complete dick. So one day I found the PUA world and started reading the first manuals (yeah mystery, swinggcat, franco and many other). So I started negging girls casually and all I did was pushing too much. It took me a lot to calibrate the push and pull and becoming more cocky&funny and sometimes a "bad-boy". (I learnt to "act" and control my overall communication) (took Hank Moody from californication and also Al Pacino from Scarface as a model).

    2 months ago I found the redpill, which really made me open my eyes (pua never did) and understanding the psychology behind everything. The problem is that I started over-theoryzing and reading so many books and TRP posts. Now I feel more "awaken" but I still have problems getting laid. I go out once a week due to school and gym so I have really low chances of meeting girls, and also due to my small social circle). I readed so much stuff and can remember just a few things, let's say the most important ones (awalt, hypergamy, keep frame, be the prize and so on..). The fact i'm still vergin frightens me. As I said I always had high aesthetic standard for girls, and honestly I refused some opportunities with hb's who I found unattractive (not to seem a dick but yeah), cause I always wanted to get laid by (and still want) a girl I like. I don't invest emotionally anymore (or at least I can control my emotions pretty well) so if a girl refuses me I say "Thought you were an interesting girl, but well, adios" and seriously give no fuck. So my high standards and my small social, and also the lack of a driving license, block me from finding girls and approaching them. My SMV is above average as I got 6.5-7 looks but a small/medium social circle. I can't really understand what's my problem guys, this all thing is making me crazy, and all this psychology is killing me. I probably have to practice more and stop reading too much theory cause it became just mental masturbation. I'm a confident guy honestly, but all this stuff is shooting at my confidence and heart without letting me understand how to find the power to control my life, the power.

ps: Also wanted to tell that I don't really have a good relationship with my parents. They think i'm still the shy guy of 5 year ago as I act like that at home, I don't even know. With my dad I NEVER talked about anything really, in particular about girls and relationship. I can tell I grew without a father model and I incredibly changed my behaviour by reading stuff on the manosphere/pua. Also sorry for my bad english but I'm Italian.

Please give me some advice guys, thanks a lot. Thank you