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2 questions, need help

Chocotop · 2015-04-15T09:03:39+00:00

1) If I view ocd as an irrational women and hold my frame against, do you reckon I can get rid of it 2) I live at home right now and my mother hates men, she...

Chocotop

April 15, 2015

1 upvotes

/r/askTRP

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Post Information

Title	2 questions, need help
Author	Chocotop
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	April 15, 2015 9:03 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/32nzn7/2_questions_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/2-questions-need-help.147973 https://theredarchive.com/post/147973

Comments

[–]waylandertheslayer0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

1) You can't easily get rid of someone else's OCD if it's a genuine case, but if it's some moron who's like "I like things being ordered, so I must have OCD" rather than "I have to wash my hands exactly 4 times before eating, sleeping or leaving the house" then you should be able to.

2) I'd need more information about your age, work/education, longterm goals etc. but I can advise you to always remember that your mother is a person too, and if she's a single mother she probably majorly fucked up somewhere (unless your father died, in which case I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like that's what happened if she "hates men").

Basically, she's not perfect, and her opinion is completely irrelevant on a number of issues. Depending on your age as well as other factors, you will know better than her on a range of issues. More importantly, reading between the lines, she comes across as controlling and like she refuses to change her mind or the topic. Is this correct?

[–]Chocotop[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

1) Mine is genuine, Ive been trying to make the best of it and use it as a tool to help develop an unshakeable frame. If I can handle ocd, i can handle anything.

2) Im 19, Im also a manager at a cafè. Havent been to college, not sure if I will go. Im moving out soon, landlord just needs to fix place up. My long term goal is ro be successful, financially (im on my way there). Back in my unaware bp days, she used to let my sister loungr about and make me clean up after her. She always told me Id end up like my father, so scared I tried to not be like him. My sister will steal from my mother and itll somehow be my fault. My sister will shout and berate me (she younger) even friends were shocked at how bad I LET her treat me. My father was abusive to her. When he was around, I was a man. Protecting my female family members from him ironically.

I feel that this bp side of me is so ingrained, almost subconscios. I was an alpha long before I became a beta. I had ambition, I was the living embodiment of the honey badger. But hey awareness is the 1st step.

[–]waylandertheslayer0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

1) You'd probably know that better than me, if you have OCD. I just know from others what it's like. It's worth a shot at least.

2) Your family sounds pretty bad. I think the best thing to do would be to start insisting on respect from your mother and sister. When talking to your mother, stay stoic and point out when she's being ridiculous. Don't back down if you can avoid it (obviously if she threatens to throw you out, it's not worth it, but otherwise you need to show her that you won't back down just because she gets angry).

If you're moving out soon, consider cutting ties with your family. You know them (and yourself) better than me, but it doesn't sound like they are the sorts of people you want in your life. If you don't enjoy spending time with them, and you don't feel very obligated towards them, then don't initiate any contact after you have your own accommodation. You don't owe your mother anything, judging by what you've said about her treatment of you.