A 'virgin' and her Puppet.

Hello everyone! I would like to share a classic beta like experience with you.So this is more of a story but, I hope to get your view on it.Its quite long but i hope some of you will bare with it till the end.Thank you....

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I liked and known for quite some time,now. Long time ago ,during the college, I tried something more with her ,but we just remained friends as allowed my self to orbit around her and to be her emotional support,comfort and whatnot.I cut off all contact with her one night after we went out to see the gig that was in town ,at that time.She begged of me to take her along ,and although i wanted to go with my friends , I ended up going with her.Bare in mind we are only friends at the time ,I never kissed her let alone slept with her.After the show ,the car stops in front of us ,she talks to the guy for 15 minutes,and after that tells me she is going with the car ,and asks me if I'm going as well or not? I say, no.She messages me the next day saying ,that was her cousin and she even names him.I don't buy the story and I cut all contact with her after that.She sends messages saying please don't leave me,I know I can be stupid like that ,but don't leave me like others did. I Never replied.

Fast forward some 10 years ,and I see her again.I'm acting and feeling confident ,ask her how she has been ,what she has been up to.We have some professional matter that connect us at this time, but we are both unemployed,although we both have college degree.I have been working on off abroad ,for past 4 years ,so I have managed to accumulate some income.Enough not to depend on anyone before I move abroad for good, next year.She never worked anywhere ,and lives withe her parents ,but has same intent as I do,as in moving abroad next year.

So we went for the coffee that day ,exchanged numbers and from that day on she kept calling me on the phone ,we were exchanging messages and seeing each other when we had time.Days went by and I could feel just being close to her again made fall for her again.After couple of weeks of being in contact and going out for drinks I couldn't resist not telling her how I felt before and how those,feelings were returning.She acted surprised but she didn't mind me saying that .She next time we went out I acted really dominating and in control of the situation.Teasing her ,making her laugh,all leading to us making out for full two hours,but we didn't have sex.Her living in a flat with her parents and me living in a house of my parents ,albeit having an entire floor for myself is not really helping matters.We also took the cab ,didn't go with the car because I knew we would drink alcohol.Anyhow it did not happen ,just like it did not happen next few times although we kissed passionately.So that went throughout the first month of the relationship.

But ,then it all went downhill from that point. I remember her calling me on the phone and telling me how we need to take things slower and how she doesn't feel comfortable making out outdoors and how we should wait for her to be alone in her flat because her parents are leaving for two months, in May.I told her how understand her perspective and how although I want her physically and emotionally ,I'm ready to wait for the appropriate time.Little did I know that after that ,things will get colder and colder as the time would pass by.She completely lost respect for me ,started devaluating me and 'jokingly' insulting me.I went along with those 'jokes' once ,but when she stated repeating herself I got really mad.She would stop for some time but after a while she would start again.We could go weeks without seeing each other ,and she would keep rescheduling dates and I would just accept that.She would always complain about her life ,and I would always do things to make her feel better or promise things.There were million excuses all the time,almost as if she had them ready and prepared when she needed those.Our phallically contact reduced to few pecks on lips ,and that was it.Even then she would make faces like she felt disgusted.If I asked her what a hell is wrong ,she would say nothing I'm just kidding.

So the month of May came and her parents left the place for two months ,just as she said they would.Our relationship got a little bit better.We teased and kissed more frequently ,the communication was excellent as well. I went to her place when she invited me ,brought along some food and drinks.We ate and talked but she acted distant and uninterested.I didn't push her into anything at all ,but when I wanted to get near her she would back away.Went to her place again four times and it was the same old story all over again.One time I told her 'This is too much,we are having fun and all but you are just being very distant and cold.I don't care anymore'. She almost started crying ,and then she started kissing me.We kissed passionately but after a while when i wanted to take it to another level she suddenly 'felt sick'. I checked to see if she was OK ,and I left.I knew she was faking it.She would send messages to see if I'm OK ,and how she is sorry that she isn't in a mood for quite some time now.More and more excuses,like weather is always crap even if there is no cloud in the sky.

Well,to the more recent events.I lose my cool and tell her we need to talk.Tell her we need to talk eye to eye ,but end up talking over the phone about it.Told her i cant be her 'gay friend' anymore ,how I want to be with her.Told her how strange it is that she wouldn't care for anything intimate ,when she herself told me at the beginning that a healthy relationship is 50% communication and 50% sex. Messed up big time by saying how i feel she might be looking for intimacy somewhere else.She run a riot over me after that.We talked about it for the entire day almost,way too long.I then realize how needy I came across and how that is killing any passion if there was any left at all. She would respond how I'm only thinking about myself and how I only care for my needs and she isn't doing anything wrong.Then she said something i never expected to hear from her,she told me that she has never been with a guy before.She told me how her mother lost her virginity in marriage,and how she plans to do the same. I was shocked and said how everything makes a little more sense now.Absolutely ingenious move from her , I later realized. I would either accept what she was saying and distance my self because of it ,wouldn't push her into anything or I would say how she is lying ,and then she would have an alibi to say how I don't trust her and how she cant be with someone she cant trust.She trapped me.

When my head cooled down I was thinking about things she was saying before.I can clearly remember her describing her first sexual experience as 'awful',or when I asked her about her previous relationships ,she told me she hasn't had many and how she didn't fuck each guy she was with.I just cant force myself into believing her,and that is huge problem.That tells me she want me to be her beta orbiter for some time ,and when she stops needing me she would just wrap things up and send me packing.

Next morning she wrote how its best for us not to talk or to see each other for some time.How she feels she isn't doing anything that much wrong ,and how she wanted to let things go with their own natural flow.If i feel that she is doing something wrong ,she said,she is sorry but we cant continue like that.I didn't want to respond at all ,but did with saying 'it alright'. Then she called and I made a mistake by answering and we talked for hours again.She got on my case again ,she spoke over me I acted so weak.Then out of frustration i told her how ,it told her her being a 'virgin' doesn't change anything ,and how it is strange that she would say that now when she said all those things before.I confessed her one of my weaknesses that makes me act a bit insecure at times.Made a huge mistake there as well.She keeps calling me the entire day to check on me ,we would talk about different issues for minute or two but then get back talking about same issues.I'm trying to make some sort of closure ,where I would almost disregard things that have been said,especially her saying how she hasn't been with anyone,so we could move on from this . We are still 'together',but its hard not to be honest and admit that we are almost 'dead' or have been for some time.

Sorry for the huge post ,and that probably looks disjointed and all.I'm posting this in a bad state of mind. I'm interested in what you have to say on this,if anything.