Dating girl 4 months, it’s been really good and easy. Last month she brought up the “what are we?” talk and we both agreed to commitment.

Up until that point, and even more so now, I am initiating hangouts approx 70% of the time. She has always been receptive, never flaked and also basically does anything I tell her to. If she already has plans, she offers a different day.

Times she does initiate are:

  1. Early on in relationship (first month or 2)
  2. When we are already hanging out in person (set up by me). Example: she will say “hey lets do this tonight” or “hey do X with me next weekend” etc.

I am beginning to get frustrated with me always having to initiate hanging out, and her lack of contacting me. It has been almost a week since I have last seen her (I have been gone on a trip) and she has not contacted me once. I am planning on texting her today for her to come over tomorrow night, (I will likely not see a message from her before I ask).

I don’t know what to do because she is 100% receptive to everything I do initiate, but at the same time it feels like I am the one chasing and am currently breaking the 3/2 golden ratio rule.

My plan: Next time we hang out, before she leaves I am going to tell her straight up “Text me later in the week, I want you to text me. Make it dirty” and “Hit me up about next weekend, I want you to hit me up.” (We already have tentative plans for next weekend). I will not contact her. If she follows through good, if not, I may decide to go no contact and/or downgrade.

We also have tentative plans for a trip out of town later in the month. However, I am thinking about not bringing it up at all unless she does (basically cancelling our tentative plans) because I do not want to reward her for not putting in some effort in seeing or contacting me. It is a plan we came up with together, but I just can’t bring myself to say “Hey are we still going to X” without more from her.

I have got some advice such as: The man is always the one to lead, Do not worry about it as long as you guys are still seeing each other and you are getting your needs met etc.

I am also aware that this could all be a mental head game with myself since I have not seen or heard from her in almost a week.

Your thoughts on this? Thanks in advance.