Any tips on self control

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-07-21T03:25:25+00:00

I’ll tell myself that I won’t look at photos of my old oneitis, but then I find myself going on iCloud photos looking at old photos the next day.

Mate the only person on the planet who gives a single shit whether or not you look at old photos of some chick, is you. You're not out committing robbery or anything. I'm sure she's a nice looker and you had some good times.

So this sounds a lot more like here you're setting yourself up so you can feel sorry for yourself, by shifting the goalposts. You want to be the loser at a game only you care about which only you create the rules to and the goalposts. So yeah, of course you feel a lack of control and feel like a helpless victim. That's the game.

Self-pity. It's a real sickness. Don't try to tell me that it's not a hell of a sickness.

You may not like what I have to say next. A lot of people on TRP don't like hearing this next ugly truth.

Consider people with Anorexia. Say whatever else you want, those sick fuckers have hella self-control. They have so much self control they often prefer to die of hunger or thirst or both rather than let go. You ever tried to fast for a few days?

Of course it's not really about control, is it? It's about self-sabotage and self-harm. They want to think it's about taking "control." But in the end control is just a feeling, like closure or justice or money. It's not fucking real. It's a fiction.

Here's the thing. Your desire for "more control" is pathological in the same way. Can be a useful notion in some situations, but it's really just a desire to avoid a basic fear of being vulnerable and powerless.

A lot of people are so convinced of their powerlessness and vulnerability they'll shift the goalposts to try to prove it.

Read "Switch" by Chip and Dan Heath.

2020-07-21T01:02:55+00:00

Meditation.

And building good habits. Free will doesn't really exist in the way we typically think we do.

Read the book: The Power of Habit

Title	Any tips on self control
Author	ezomo11
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	July 21, 2020 1:00 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/huxtbo/any_tips_on_self_control/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/any-tips-on-self-control.716626 https://theredarchive.com/post/716626

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