Background: 20, Been hitting the gym for 7 years, found trp last year after a 2.5 year LTR where I was completely BP’d and ended with me acting like a needy bitch.

I thought I was doing well with things. After my LTR ended in May of last year and my subsequent finding of trp, I found it pretty easy to spin plates and my n count went from having been with 2 to 12 at the end of 2018. Nevertheless, I still felt kind of empty having realized that while the pleasure from spinning plates is great and fun, I just didn’t really get much satisfaction from it. I’d been searching for my passion, advancing towards my future career and yet I couldn’t really seem to feel a sense of purpose. It led me to maybe thing about another LTR for the companionship aspect.

I met a chick I thought would be good for this, but my change in mindset from plate to LTR led me back to old, bad habits. I caught oneitis bad and acted needy again and broke frame repeatedly. It’s crazy to me because I swore to myself I’d never be like that again, but I just slipped into it. I’m just really embarrassed to have broken frame so badly.

All of this has just made me feel a lack of purpose. Sure, I could get on tinder or go out this weekend and probably come back with a new plate, but there almost doesn’t feel like a point to it. I know I really shouldn’t be looking for fulfillment in women, but I’m doing well in the rest of my life.

Anyways, be brutal if you must. I know I’m not 100% RP’d and maybe that’s my issue, but I’m struggling with this and felt like maybe someone else has felt the same