~ archived since 2018 ~

Are you lonely?

BigBrother14

October 15, 2014

3 upvotes

/r/askTRP

I sure am. Made a post on my two best bros who were kind of throwing hate my way before and I've pretty much distanced myself from them during the weekdays. Parties with them Friday and enjoyed it, ten Saturday they decided they wanted to go to a party with some girl they don't really like. This girl is fake as fuck and manipulative and one of m friends said "yeah she's fake that's why you gotta watch your back around her". My response is why mess with her at all.

Nowadays it's pretty hit or miss if they respond to my texts/calls that are already sent sparingly. I have other friends and friend groups that I hang out with but I frankly don't enjoy my time with these people as much. I go out with I can but I'm a GDI at a pretty big Greek college so there are some nights where I can't do much.

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Post Information

Title	Are you lonely?
Author	BigBrother14
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	October 15, 2014 10:38 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2jd2ia/are_you_lonely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/are-you-lonely.142863 https://theredarchive.com/post/142863

Comments

[–]AskTRP Endorsed ContributorAlphaAsFAQ2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]iseelivingpeople 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]teeay 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]iseelivingpeople 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Let me clarify on what I wrote. I meant that having to rely on others for means of self fulfillment will lead to disaster. This is where clingyness and codependent relationships spring from. Sure, we as human beings are naturally sociable and with prolonged isolation there might be detrimental effects. However, going to such lengths as requiring maintaining "friendships" with people who are flaky and simply not the best sort of individuals in order to not feel alone such as OP will lead to OP fostering negative connections in the long run. Does that answer your question? I found myself utterly alone after a particular breakup and would constantly hang out with friends to go drinking but found out that being able to cope with being alone, along with tackling the loneliness that came with it has made new relationships in my life that much more meaningful and healthy.

[–]teeay 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1oldredder0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not a social animal.

My focus is on benefit/value in every time-frame from every resource: this means I need to understand & do things or I can't get the value. It's not often I can depend on others to do this for me because they either have no reason, no skill or will do so by siphoning off some of the value so that changes my motivation to even make it social instead of doing it myself.

My best state is when no one can connect to me because I defy any opportunity yet I lose nothing because I have all the skills & comprehension required to make the best of what I've got.

Changing the mindset of loneliness is 2 parts: 1) it's an emotion, shut it off. Men can and should shut off emotions once they've served their few-seconds purpose of pointing your conscious mind in a direction so you can use your logical mind to solve a problem

2) you only need other people when you can't do something yourself so learn to do more things yourself.