"You rub people the wrong way."

These words of my ex-girlfriend in high school come cross my mind. I had simply no time for people (girls) who gossip and spread rumors about me. Back then, I did the dumb rookie move - I cut them out. And the slanders only grew louder.

I wish I could say I've learnt how to react better to girls who go on hamster fests when I ignore them for acting out. But I haven't. Something something sense of forwardness and inherent dislike of Machiavellianism has always meant I want to "get the job done and not have bullshit" (words of a friend describing me)

The irony is - I'm not that sullen guy sitting in the classroom, the one that just comes to school to clear projects and fuck off.

Growing up, I had always been the 'head-in-the-clouds' boy, trying to make light of everything, the one who opened up first and told you about his thoughts on everything on day 1.

But time has tempered that naivete. I now think before I speak, and at first transgression I either confront or cut out especially if I find the person would not appreciate boundaries.

Yet, that's the rookie way again. I lost my main sell - my approachability and honest, friendly warmth. I'm probably like a Squidward (from SBSP) now - critical, snobbish (in impression that is). I'm still seen as helpful (and am known for being willing to teach fellow classmates - but I have no leverage, no soft power). Essentially I'm that IT guy in your office that fixes shit but you know that even if he sets frame, by sense of duty he'll help you out even if you aren't exactly friendly to him.

Question: How would you advise that I start being approachable while not looking needy or being a chum?