I’m 21.

Recovering anorexic. So upset with myself now Not looking for sympathy, but last night I had the chance to lose my v-card to a girl I’ve been seeing. Being a guy with an ED (eating disorder) is pathetic enough, but due to refeeds I absolutely hate my body. I have a skinny-Fat look and couldn’t even bring myself to remove my shirt. She kept wondering if I was gay or not into her.

Honestly it’s got so bad I can’t even look shirtless in a mirror. Would the best move for me to be too completely ignore girls & Make gym my main priority? I just don’t understand. Anorexia is such a fucked disease and I’m angry that I’m a grown man afflicted with this.

Sorry if it sounds lame, just needed to vent

Tl:dR could have lost virginity but was embarrassed for her to see my body.