Break up or not?

Andorli · 2016-08-19T08:53:56+00:00

Look, I am currently in LTR where my GF accepts my sleeping with other girls as a normal natural thing. She found some jewelry or other items that don't belong to her in my apartment and she does not react to it. Why? Because from the beginning of the relationship it was set up in a such a way that I explained to her my boundaries and expectations and if she does not satisfy them she is free to walk. In your case if you feel like this relationship is dragging you down and does not satisfy what you truly want then you should definitely break up or demote to plate. You are very young and if you are already thinking you are missing out then that feeling of regret will only get worse. Don't settle if you are not ready and don't want to.

Gilgs · 2016-08-19T10:37:03+00:00

"And I feel like Im not at my full potential..." Look bro, this is the same when a woman tells you she need to explore what life is all about = she wants to ride the CC. Stop kidding yourself, as soon as you start questioning yourself if the relationship is worth saving, guess what? It's already over. Do yourself a favor, break it off and keep that in mind for the future.

MattyAnon · 2016-08-19T10:57:59+00:00

In the past, she had tried to stop me from working out because I would get "too attractive."

And presumably she doesn't wear makeup or short skirts in order to also not be too attractive?

You are not responsible for her or her feelings. Do what's right for you. Change her to FWB so you're both semi happy and you're more free.

If you have the option to sleep with more women you should do this. If you don't, then don't. One option is to try and sleep with more women, then make a decision once it's happening.

quicklogaccount · 2016-08-19T12:04:57+00:00

I could have gone with yes just from reading the question. Then I read the text and I still go with yes.

It goes like this. You'll resent her for making you miss out, and the more of a decent man you are, the more likely you are to stick with it because it's "wrong to hurt her again" until it gets unbearable or maybe she gives you a reason to put an end to it.

I might ease you into something. Your girl is that invested because she is insecure. RP sometimes lay out a vibe that it's good that she's insecure but stick with mainstream advice on this one: IT IS NOT.
A relationship with a woman that VOICES HER CONCERNS with you getting attractive can't thrive. She will learn how to stop you, she will learn how to hurt you, how to betafy you, she will do it AND she will take your resistance as PERSONALLY OFFENSIVE to her.

My suggestion is, end it, go NC, build abundance mentality (you're on scarcity dude, "missing out syndrome" is a symptom of it), get back in touch and, if you will, be sensible enough to help her out of her own issues, and maybe you might have a shot for the future if and when you're ready for it and she has crossed her ghosts.

jeezydasnowman · 2016-08-19T10:16:47+00:00

Frame it as an open relationship vs. a breakup. If you're high enough value she will stick around ... just don't expect her to remain exclusive and recognize she may find someone else.

SeekingTheWay · 2016-08-19T11:56:02+00:00

Wait... why can't you go out with your friends when in LTR? I do that all the time, regardless of my relationship status.

If she "forbids" you this, then you should most def break up. Otherwise, what's the point. If you are keen of each other while you still fuck around, just do exactly that. No harm done.

InGodWeTrust1776 · 2016-08-19T16:36:53+00:00

You sound like a piece of shit.

Title	Break up or not?
Author	throwaway-dilemma
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	August 19, 2016 8:39 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4yhslh/break_up_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/break-up-or-not.109975 https://theredarchive.com/post/109975

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