1. Have been improving game and appearance for a while but I feel like I've hit a wall. Not necessarily with appearance, it's been a long WIP, but the other value creation and social circle aspects are just not there. For a long time I would hit the bar by myself because I found that when I went with an old friend of mine, there would be beta tendencies. We'd spend more time talking to eachother than to other people, he would look at girls but never talk to them. This got frustrating when I would catch ioi's all the time, even made out with some random girls twice while he.. I guess hung out nearby? That changed when I started on my own. I would talk all the time and get numbers all the time, but most never went anywhere. Sure maybe if my value were higher I could do those kinds of pulls, but most of the time I just wanted a taste of the action. It was addicting at first to have no boundaries, expectations, or other people to babysit. But it got old.

After some introspection, I decided to stop drinking altogether. I found myself in too many situations with a lack of self control. As soon as I have a drink, it becomes painless to say "1 more." Don't get me wrong, I had some really fun times, but I've had some really unsafe ones. Expensive ones. A lot of time going out of my way only to come back and barely remember half of it. Not to mention the ravages on my fitness and recovery. It's just better if I stopped. What I really simply wanted anyway was some social interaction, and drinking is just the activity around which people socialize. It was a means to an end. I could never drink again and probably not miss it.

So this leaves me at where I am today. I don't see the point in going to a bar half an hour away, circling around for parking 8 times, fighting for a bar stool just to sip water, stare at a baseball game I don't care about, and feel self conscious about it. I have to engage in a different way, but I don't know how that really works. When I was younger it was always house parties, but those are pretty much off the table with my current "circle" and I don't have the space to do it myself (plus more drinking). I have a few loose friends I talk to (guys and girls) and could try and put some type of activity together, but my goal here is growth and expansion. I want to rope people in and build value in a more authentic way than going out and trying to be the most aloof dude and close another number. I don't want to play board games but fuck, how do people nail this? I grew up piss broke poor so the idea of "party at my house!" as an organizer always passed me up.

Am I looking at this the wrong way? Would I be better off just designating myself DD as an excuse to avoid alcohol, and leveraging what I have (in terms of connections) to build on top of what I know (venues)?