I'm 28 and I need some advice as I don't really have anyone to confide in. My ex left 8 months ago and it really gutted me. I used the breakup as motivation to rigorously improve myself and pursue other women. I've had a couple plates since then and they either stopped seeing me for other guys or I just lost interest. None of them were as hot as my ex which makes me feel really bad about myself.

I've been lifting, eating right, abstaining from porn, and doing stuff with my friends but I'm still feeling really average/below average and down about myself. My self worth is too dependent on my relationships with women. My ex said a lot of really demeaning and hateful things to me on her way out and her words are still fucking with my head as well because deep down I know there's some truth to them. Every day I'm obsessing over my past mistakes (real or imagined) and finances as well as things that I can't change like my age, height, penis size, etc.

I know in my mind that I need to focus on myself and not think about women at all right now, but the FOMO combined with my lingering oneitis is really fucking me up. It sounds pathetic but sometimes the only thing that gets me off my ass and taking care of myself is the hope that I'm going to find a really awesome partner who takes care of herself too.

How the fuck do I stop feeling so down and worthless despite my best efforts?