About 5 months ago started going to the gym, dieting, playing guitar, fishing and pushing my project. Cut 25 lbs off and started receiving more attention from girls. Got a plate about HB5, ONS with another HB5. Kissed with 2 other girls. (all of which friends for years though not close).
So far so good, i was kind of enjoying life.
Went to the sea side with my friend group. One night things escalated with a HB7(same circle). Heavy kino from both sides. Got her to my place. Kissing, escalating, grinding and then i received the "you are just looking to fuck, nothing more; not happening". Could not get past this stage. Next day slight kino and again "you are just looking for a fuck". To which i responded that i am not commiting without first checking if im seaxualy and intellectually compatible with a girl. On the 3rd day i massively cockblocked myself. Which i still cannot let go.

​

Whatever, she stays to work there for 10more days and we head back. And wow, since im back (4 days) i find myself thinking about her, its like a loop, the same things over and over. The other things in my life seem bland and boring now.

​

The biggest thing apart from regretting the cockblock is the problem of not knowing where things will head when we see again.

How would you have passed this lmr? Am i going blue?